(Closed) Unwanted dress twin ..

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Since you’re not getting married until April, have you considered selling your dress and buying a new one? It’s not an ideal solution, I know, but she doesn’t have time to do that and with a new dress you’ll avoid all that awfulness that you’ve described.

*hugs* Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow. I’ve certainly never had this happen to me, but it sounds just awful. Based on the way you are feeling, and the fact that your wedding isn’t until next April, why don’t you see if you can return your dress, or sell it, and get something else? It seems like its going to be a total source of stress, and if you can’t laugh it off and it is going to bother you like this, I would just look again and see if you can find something else. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m so sorry this happened.  I don’t think being mad at your friend will help anything.  She was entitled to keep her dress a secret.  I think you should wear the dress – it will look different on two different brides.  It’s too bad that your already told your Fiance she has the same dress, because he probably would have never realized it.  I think selling it was a good idea, but I also think you could wear the dress, and should if you love it.

Post # 7
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Then how about taking it to a seamstress and getting it altered significantly enough that you feel better about it?

Post # 8
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Another thought that just occured to me: if you keep it, can you do anything to it to make it even more uniquely “yours”? Change the neckline, add/remove straps, add/remove/change a belt? Do what you need to do to feel good about this situation – everyone should feel amazing in their wedding dress.

Post # 9
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I know you are upset but you need to take a big, deep breath and realize that this is fixable. Have you picked up your dress yet? Some David’s will let you exchange it. If not, sell it. I can see there is no way in hell you’ll be happy wearing the dress now. Be happy that it’s a David’s dress, and not a $5000 dress, you know?

Sorry you are so stressed out, it seems your friend is not being very gracious.

Post # 10
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think David’s has a decent return policy… see if they will let you exchange! 

Post # 11
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The falling out was due to her wanting to plan her wedding before helping you with yours? I’m sorry, there must be more to it than that. That’s no reason to let a friendship go. Wedding planning is stressful and I can understand why she wanted you each to focus on your own weddings instead of dealing with both. I hope you’re not still upset about that, it sounds like you are. If you can let that go then maybe you can see your current situation with a clear mind and there won’t be a sort of rivalry in the way.

I would be upset too, especially about Fiance seeing the dress. I don’t think you should worry about her husband’s opinion of you, no matter what you wear he’s going to think she looked better, that’s his wife. And your guests won’t remember what her dress looked like. But I get what you mean, losing the specialness of your dress. It may sound silly but it does make sense. The only fair thing to do is either wear it all dolled up with your accessories (your Fiance will NEVER notice unless you tell him, never.) or get a new dress because she got engaged first, had the dress first and her wedding is first. I think the personal touches you add are more important than the dress design itself. There are women on here who wore the same dress – one to a huge wedding in a church and another to a beach ceremony you know? It’s all in how you wear it. Don’t look at it as a rivalry or a competition to look better in the dress. Everyone at both your weddings will find you both individually beautiful. And in 20 years you will love your dress and how you looked in it, regardless of who else wore the same design.

Post # 12
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Has it been altered yet?  I’ve heard of David’s Bridal doing exchanges all the time- maybe that’s the way to go and you don’t loose any money.

Post # 13
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

 I agree, try to exchange it or sell it. When you walk down the aisle the last thing you want on your mind is all the thoughts that you just described circling your head. It’s a really sucky situation to be in, but breathe and think of a solution that would best suit you.

If I were you I’d seriously consider getting a new one, you still have time, and there’s always more than one dress that made just for you.  If not I also second the option of altering it to make it even uniquely yours. If so I might consider telling my friend what happen,(after her wedding though) just to take a little more pressure and initial shock of seeing her dress on you on your wedding day.

Post # 14
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree. Try to find a new dress. Maybe if you tell us what dress it is, some of the bees can help you find something in a similar style that will be different enough?

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