(Closed) Unwanted dress twin ..

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
@siimplycraziie: What’s the style number on DB’s website, so I can get a better looka at it? Any what did you like about it? Beaded bodice, corset back, a-line, sweetheart, textured skirt?

Post # 19
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011
Post # 21
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Not really the same, but…

When I first tried on dresses I fell in love with one that was nothing like what I thought I wanted and almost purchased it, but decided to think it over. Then the next day I was facebook stalking friends wedding pics to look at their dresses now that I had a better understanding of what I liked. The dress was the EXACT same one as the dress in the last wedding I went to. I couldn’t believe it, because it looked so different on us.

I didn’t end up buying it, but only because I fell more in love with a different – but very similar – dress.

My point is that I’ll bet the dress looks so different on the two of you that you will barely even recognize it as yours! Plus you will still have 6 months after her wedding to forget all about seeing her dress. If this is the dress you love I think you should still wear it!

Post # 22
6885 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I will probably get flamed for this, but I think you are over reacting. I would take it as a compliment if someone had the same dress as me and I knew her. A wedding dress looks different on each woman. You can always if you really want to have it altered to look different or add a sash or some kind of arrangement to it. Wedding dresses unless you are having made are usually mass produced and other women are bound to have the same thing.  It just so happens you and your friend have good taste and bought the same dress.  Chalk it up to having good fashion taste.

Post # 23
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If you love your dress, you should wear it.  Really, unless it was something really unique (read: not a lovely long, white strapless a-line like yours is) I doubt anybody other than your friend and her husband will notice.  Keep your dress.

Post # 24
32 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m glad to see some comments encouraging you to wear it.  You found YOUR dress and you love it.  It took you a long time to find it, and it is for you.  Do not compromise and get something you love less.  Wear it!  Your weddings are 6 months apart.  Do you really think you Fiance is going to notice her dress?  I’m guessing to most guys, if it is not their bride, a wedding dress is a wedding dress.  Honestly I was trying to get opinions from my Fiance, and he said “I don’t think your dress is going to be the first thing on my mind that day.”  I wouldn’t make any comments about her dress at her wedding of course, but like others have said, dresses look different on different people, and you are doing something unique with yours.  At her wedding you can see how she accessorized it, and do something different.   I actually think its funny that you were such close friends, and ended up with the same dress! 

Post # 25
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When I went to Davids for a friend’s dress search I was shocked!  My friend and another girl in the salon were both choosing the same dress and it looked completely different on the two women.  They didn’t change anything (no crinis, sashes, colors) but the shape on the different bodies just looked different.  Both looked beautiful.

It took us a while to notice that the dresses were the same.  I am sure that nobody will know because it will be YOUR dress, fitted to you, and hers will be fitted to her body.

Post # 26
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i’m so sorry you’re going through this. my ex’s brother and i were super close when my ex and i were still dating. well, he just got married and suuuuuuure enough, she has the same dress as me – one i bought before they were even engaged. luckily we’re both wearing ours very differently – she altered the neckline, added straps, wore a white belt (i’m wearing a black one), and had very different jewelry from me with her hair in a big updo. STILL! we have some guestlist crossover and i’m probably going to die a little if someone says “hey, isn’t that T’s dress??”. it may not be logical to feel this way, but emotions rarely are. :/ save getting a new dress, all you can really do is rock it better!

Post # 27
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Aw I am so sorry this happened 🙁  Me, I would look for another dress, but I’m just like that.  You can’t blame her for not showing you her dress, a lot of brides want to keep that a surprise.  There’s a lot of new dresses out right now, so I would at least try to find something… you never know, you could find something you LOVE even more.. no one else will notice even if you wear it, but it might bother you, I know it would bother me.

Funny, my cousin just got married (my wedding is in 2 weeks) and her dress was my runner up choice… I was SO glad I did not buy that dress, it would have been a nightmare for me.  I was just so shocked to see her in a dress I was so close to buying, and if I had bought her dress, I would have bought something off the rack with a month to spare.  You have plenty of time to find a new dress, or if you do keep yours, trust me, no one will notice.

Post # 28
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I see where you are coming from.

If it were me and I had spent so much time looking for the perfect dress and then someone with the history the two of you have ended up with it…I’d be getting a new dress.

I’m really sorry this is happening to you. I hope you are able to resolve this is some way.

Post # 29
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Sassygrn: I have to say I’m with you.

This whole situation seems childish to me, it’s not like she went out and intentionally bought the same dress.  What makes a wedding gown special and unique is the bride that wears it.  3 of my friends got married in the same dress, in the same colour, 3 years in a row.  And nobody gave a hoot!  Not one single guest compared brides, because on your day, it’s all about you! 

“My FH can’t go with me to the wedding, because then he’ll see the dress before our wedding day”  OKay, sorry to say, this is ridiculous!  You really think your Fiance is going to care that your friend wore the same dress months before?  Do you think he’d even NOTICE if you didn’t say anything?  He’s going to be looking at YOU, his beautiful wife to be.  Your friend will be the LAST thing on his mind.  And if she’s not, rethink your marriage…

The gown you have chosen is awesome, and leaves you TONNES of options for personalization.  As PP have suggested, belt it with something fun or colourful.  You already said you will be using a coloured lace for the corest.  Add a jewelled belt in similar tones, wear shoes to match or compliment.  Wear coloured stone jewellry.  MAKE it yours.  It’s just a dress until you wear it, then it’s YOUR dress!

Post # 30
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m going to jump on the “JUST WEAR IT” bandwagon – you look lovely in it and it makes you happy. It’s not like your friend is wearing the same dress to your wedding – at least I hope she’s not! (I also agree – she had the right to keep the dress a secret – who wants to show everyone they know their dress before the big day – isn’t that part of the magic of that day?) Go to her wedding and tell her she looks beautiful in HER dress (as you will look beautiful in YOUR dress on your day).

It certainly sucks that the situation has occurred since every bride wants to feel special and one of a kind on her wedding day but guess what?? You ARE special and one of a kind and that’s why your Fiance asked you to marry him. I think the wedding stress is causing you to overreact and overthink this, to be totally honest.

You said yourself that there won’t be many (if any) of the same guests at both your weddings so why drive yourself crazy about it?  Chalk it up to a crazy coincidence and find a way to go back to feeling super special in YOUR dress (not HERS – YOURS). You look beautiful and you’re getting married and no one can take that away from you unless you let them.

Good luck!

Post # 31
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

O wow…. thats a bad thought for sure… Sorry this happened to you and I hope it works out.


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