Post # 32
thanks for all your advice ladies. I just wanted to clear one thing up. I never demanded she show me her dress when she bought it. If I were in her shoes, I would have showed her my dress [even if it was just the link from the website] just so we didn’t end up in the same dress, seeing how we were so close, and our weddings are 7 months apart. I understand not wanting everyone under the sun knowing what your dress looks like, I really do. I just think a lot of drama could have been resolved had she shown me. When I wrote this I was still very emotional and upset, which is why I said I was mad. I’ve talked to my best friend/MOH since all this happened and have calmed down significantly. I’m still going to wear my dress. It took forever to find, I’m not doing round two lol. And I’ve now caused yet another rift between us, because she’s been texting me all day about how I’m being selfish for not offering to get a new dress, and how it’s not fair to her to have to know I have the same one etc. Ive just been blowing her off, because I don’t know what to say to her without making things even worse.
Post # 33
I think it’s cool you’re wearing your dress. She’s just freaking out because she just found this out too, and she’s worrying that maybe she should get a new dress and her wedding is so close blah blah blah. It’s just pre wedding stress it will pass. Honestly in hindsight you probably should have waited until after her wedding to tell her, but you were emotional and I can’t say I would have kept it to myself either. You can’t blame her for not showing you the dress, she never could have predicted this, there are so many dresses out there to pick from. You’ll look so different in the dresses that no one will notice. I think you both are letting emotions and the pressure to look perfect get in the way of your reasoning right now.
Both of you need to take the high road here, in the end it’s just fabric, and your friendship means more than that.
You look lovely in your dress by the way!
Post # 34
I’d probably get a new dress.. but I do understand that you really love the dress, so there’s def nothing wrong with wearing it! She’ll get over it.
Post # 35
I would wear your dress and not worry that your friend has the same dress. Its your dress and you’ll look beautiful on your wedding day no matter what.
My Gurl is a sample dress and I fell in Love the moment I went for my 1st alterations fitting. My seamstress told me she had worked on my same dress in the past and knew how to make my dress look like it was made especially for me. I was sooo Thankful. She thought I would be upset but I was ecstatic. She knew exactly how to handle my chiffon train and the pleated bodice. Yes, I have seen an occasional bride in my dress cause its was from Badgley Mischka’s 2010 collection, but my Gurl was all mine that day. She was everything I dreamed and everyone including my Dad, who doesn’t give out compliments, thought Badgley Mishka made the dress for me.
Also your not being selfish. She’s just concerned that you’ll look better in your dress. But to be honest, as long as your Fiance thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world, Who gives a flying……
Post # 36
If I were in your position, and with the amount of time you have between now and your wedding, I would at least consider going and trying on other dresses. Not to necessarily pick a new one, because if you found THE ONE that you absolutely want to wear then wear it and rock it out! You will look fabulous! But the only reason I suggest at least going to look, is because you are so upset about it and I do understand because it would definitely be hard to deal with. I hope you figure things out and remember, the guests at her wedding aren’t going to be the exact same ones at yours, and you ARE going to look different in the dress, so to others who have seen hers, it might not even look like the same dress on you as it did her, because guests arent going to take in the details of the dress like us brides are, just keep that in mind too. Hope everything works out well though and sorry you have to deal with this =/
Post # 37
I can’t believe she would suggest that you are being selfish for not buying a new dress. Talk about selfish. Hopefully she’ll calm down like you have and see things rationally. I’m glad you are wearing YOUR dress 🙂
Post # 38
Why don’t you wear a bolero? Look at Mrs. Jaguar. It’s stunning and really changes the neckline sans-alterations.
I agree 100% that if you hadn’t said anything your Fiance wouldn’t have even noticed it was the same. He’s looking at you, the love of his life, not the dress. Plus, pictures of YOURSELF not your friend are what you’ll be looking on the walls and in albums for rest of your life. (Then again.. will they always be a painful reminder of this tension?? only you can answer that.)
Hope you can get things resolved with your friend. Sounds like she’s under a lot of stress as well, but that’s no reason to try to convince another bride to make big changes to her wedding, just so she feels like hers is more special.
Post # 39
Yuck! Sorry your going through this.
I’m glad you’ve decided to wear your dress! It is beautiful and you look so happy in it!
Post # 40
This is a little bit different but I am in a semi-similar situation. A month or so ago I had to go to a wedding an hour away while Fiance was in a wedding in town. I knew what the in-town bride’s dress looked like and it is fairly similar to mine, so I was kind of sad that he would be seeing it but I just hoped that he would forget what it looked like. Well, when I went to the farther away wedding the bride had a similar dress, too, but it was missing one key element that makes it look just like mine. Well, at the reception she ADDED THAT ELEMENT and then Fiance decided to drive down to that reception and saw both dresses! It made me really sad that I’m not the first one he will see in that style of dress but I know he will like it on me best, as I am the one he is marrying. Let’s just hope he forgets about the other dresses.
I know it sucks. In your situation I’d either go ahead with your plan and not let him see it or see if you can get a new dress. Maybe David’s will let you exchange it. See what your options are, first. Who knows, you may find one you like better! And you will definitely feel happier on your wedding day. I’m so sorry this happened to you 🙁