Post # 1
My finace’s relative recently told us that he would like to give us 5 large blow ups made on his pro-grade photo printer of his photography framed as a wedding gift. This idea is nice, but:
– he is not a professional photographer – he does it as a hobby.
– his real profession leaves him and his family very wealthy (i.e. could afford to give us a gift off of our registry that others might not be able to afford)
-I myself blow up and frame lots of photos from our personal journeys and we live in a small apartmet with not much wall space
Is it incredibly out of line to say no thank you – we rather have something from our registry that we actually need? Any ideas on how to do this without insulting? I even thought of instead of the blown up photos from his extravagent vacations maybe he could shoot some of our wedding and blow those up…? We aren’t even springing for a photographer because of our low budget.
Post # 3
I would thank him for his offer , then ask him if he would be willing to take some shots at your wedding. Maybe he doesn’t know that you are not going to have a photographer.
Post # 4
Honestly, I think you should just let him give you the gift and accept it graciously. It is the gift givers decision of what they want to give you and it would seem rude to try and dictate what he should give you. Who knows, you may really like it.(?)
I would be a little hurt and offended if someone shot down my gift idea. Especially since it seems like their might be a bit of work involved in it. Just because they have money does not mean anything. This seems like he is trying to give you something a little more personal.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t actually ask him to change his gift idea, but I would mention to him that you have very limited wall space.
Post # 6
@julies1949: I like this idea too but I don’t know if i’d personally have the gall to ask him.
Post # 7
I think he would be honored to take photos at your wedding. I would go with that!
Post # 8
I would probably mention to him subtley that you have limited wall space and don’t really have room for such things and ask him to take pictures at your wedding. It’s true that it’s the gift givers decision on what to give you, but if you were the gift giver wouldn’t you want to give something people could actually use?
Post # 9
I would tell him thank you first. Then something like you wish you had the space to enjoy them, but your apartment is very small so you would be unable to hang them.
Maybe then mention that you would love for him to sendyou the shots he takes digitally instead, since you won’t have an official photographer, you would appreciate his perspective.
Post # 10
Personally I think its rude to ask him for something else. Just graciously accept his gift.
Post # 11
To be perfectly honest, since gifts are not *required* at a wedding, it seems really questionable to say no thank you, much less ask for something else. Sorry.
Post # 12
I think you should discuss it with your fiance and his family. If it were me I would have my parents kinda hint to them that I had limited wall space and that I was hoping, for example, I would get my stand mixer because I love to bake.
Otherwise, I would just accept the gift. I wouldn’t come right out and say I didn’t want their gift and get me something I requested.
Post # 13
Thank you all for your thoughtful replies! It’s just quite an expensive gift that he is undertaking not to mention a lot of work, so we would feel bad just having them take up space in my parent’s basement (or hopefully our own storage space or larger apartment someday…).
My fiance and I talked more about it yesterday and decided that we might “commission” him to take some shots of the wedding weekend – since it’s a place that means a lot to both of us and he does do well with artsy landscape and still life shots.
Then again we might just not say anything a the risk of ruffling everyone.