(Closed) Un~Wanted Guests!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

oh man this is a hard one. i wouldnt want to invite those girls. i would send him an invitation with just his name and put write on his RSVP card the number 1 so he can change it to 2 people. just tell him weddings are expensive and you cant have additional guest its just mainly family. then again if Fi and him arent that close iw ouldnt invite at all.

Post # 4
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would think you need to talk to your Fiance about it since they are his friends.

Post # 5
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it’s sort of difficult because they are a group of friends and if you are inviting one from the group, you really should invite them all.

Post # 6
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This sounds like high school drama.  Proper etiquette is to invite both parties of a relationship.  And you can’t not invite him, yet invite everyone else, and expect him to not be mad about it.

Post # 7
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well you have a few options (if I’m understanding your situation correctly):

(1) Make a rule across the board that only engaged or married couples get +1s, that eliminates the girlfriend problem although people will be pissed

(2) Just don’t invite that one guy out of the group of friends. There’s one guy in my group of friends that I don’t care for, and I hate his girlfriend, so I just didn’t invite him and invited everyone else. If your Fiance doesn’t care about this one guy, you could leave him out.

None of these situations are ideal but you have options if you really can’t deal with that couple.

Post # 8
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It’s hard, but I did it. There is a guy who is in my group who has inappropriately made advances (grabbed people butts and hit on girls with their boyfriend standing right there) towards certain girls in the group, including me, but everyone acts like i’m overreacting to be upset about it, so i’ve decided to give him another chance and be nice to him for the sake of the group, but i did not invite him. other members of the group are now pissed at me, but when they get upset i just say “he touched my ass! after i said no!” end of story!

Post # 9
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

If you and Fiance don’t care much to have this guy at your wedding then don’t invite him. An argument can be made that if you invite him well… all of your other acquintences should get an invite. Don’t feel bad if you don’t include him. He is hardly someone that either of you would consider a friend or someone you’d want to share your special day with. There is no obligation to invite him just because he’s part of the group.

FI’s has a group of friends from grad school and while most of us kept in touch with one another, there is a friend that everyone’s lost touch with. Let’s call that person friend #1. In the past 3 years we’ve probably hung out with Friend #1 only 2 times. We felt pressured by a good friend to invite him to our wedding b/c upon Friend #1’s recent engagement, we knew we’d be invited to theirs. An eye for an eye. This friend was originally on the B-list and was not a priority.

Another person in this group, Friend #2, is getting married this year as well (lots of weddings in this group of friends). I admitted to Friend #2 that myself and Fiance ended up inviting Friend #1 after being guilted by a mutual friend. Come to find out that Friend #2 didn’t invite Friend #1 to their wedding for the same sentiments that we had… all the while we’re all at an engagement party for Friend #1…talking about our weddings. This was kind of awkward but what can you do, people will get over it.

Just wanted to give you an example of how things are working out in a similar situation to yours. I don’t find the situation to be dramatic at all and don’t see a problem with Friend #2 not inviting Friend #1. I’d have to say that if this friend did not get engaged, we wouldn’t have invited them to our wedding either.

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