Post # 1
Good Afternoon Bees~
My Fiance has a very large group of guys friends that he’s know since grade school. I have met all of them and get along great! except with there girlfriends. I try, I really do but there just not my crowd. I can be around them for a few hours but to call and hang out….not a chance. One of the Fiance friend and I met on day one! and I spoke more to him that day then I have in the past 5 years. I have been told that he’s just “socialy ackward”. Now he has a girlfriend ((from another part of town so she never knew anyone) and she happens to be bff with one of the main girls that doesnt like me. she has no reason to not like me but that’s not the point. The girl friend befor even knowing me has decided to not talk to me & talk shit alllll the time b/c she is bff w/ the girl that doesnt like me. Its really dumb. At a recent party I was talking to the boyfriend (just him & I) and in the middle of me speaking he just walked away! um….hello!!!! wtf?!?!?!?! all the girls tell there bfs to not speak to me & ignor whatever I say. Its very funny b/c when its just me & the guys ~they cant get enough. lol So my question is…..do I have to invite the socially ackward friend and his undercover bi*ch girlfriend?!?!?! Him and my Fiance are not buddy buddy and only hang out whenever the group gets together. I dont want them there so she can hate on my wedding the entire time and run to the girl that doesnt like me and trash on my big day. I dont want people that dont support us 100%. But how can I invite the entire group of guys and leave him out? ~ Is that wrong????
Post # 3
oh man this is a hard one. i wouldnt want to invite those girls. i would send him an invitation with just his name and put write on his RSVP card the number 1 so he can change it to 2 people. just tell him weddings are expensive and you cant have additional guest its just mainly family. then again if Fi and him arent that close iw ouldnt invite at all.
Post # 4
I would think you need to talk to your Fiance about it since they are his friends.
Post # 5
I think it’s sort of difficult because they are a group of friends and if you are inviting one from the group, you really should invite them all.
Post # 6
This sounds like high school drama. Proper etiquette is to invite both parties of a relationship. And you can’t not invite him, yet invite everyone else, and expect him to not be mad about it.
Post # 7
Well you have a few options (if I’m understanding your situation correctly):
(1) Make a rule across the board that only engaged or married couples get +1s, that eliminates the girlfriend problem although people will be pissed
(2) Just don’t invite that one guy out of the group of friends. There’s one guy in my group of friends that I don’t care for, and I hate his girlfriend, so I just didn’t invite him and invited everyone else. If your Fiance doesn’t care about this one guy, you could leave him out.
None of these situations are ideal but you have options if you really can’t deal with that couple.
Post # 8
It’s hard, but I did it. There is a guy who is in my group who has inappropriately made advances (grabbed people butts and hit on girls with their boyfriend standing right there) towards certain girls in the group, including me, but everyone acts like i’m overreacting to be upset about it, so i’ve decided to give him another chance and be nice to him for the sake of the group, but i did not invite him. other members of the group are now pissed at me, but when they get upset i just say “he touched my ass! after i said no!” end of story!
Post # 9
If you and Fiance don’t care much to have this guy at your wedding then don’t invite him. An argument can be made that if you invite him well… all of your other acquintences should get an invite. Don’t feel bad if you don’t include him. He is hardly someone that either of you would consider a friend or someone you’d want to share your special day with. There is no obligation to invite him just because he’s part of the group.
FI’s has a group of friends from grad school and while most of us kept in touch with one another, there is a friend that everyone’s lost touch with. Let’s call that person friend #1. In the past 3 years we’ve probably hung out with Friend #1 only 2 times. We felt pressured by a good friend to invite him to our wedding b/c upon Friend #1’s recent engagement, we knew we’d be invited to theirs. An eye for an eye. This friend was originally on the B-list and was not a priority.
Another person in this group, Friend #2, is getting married this year as well (lots of weddings in this group of friends). I admitted to Friend #2 that myself and Fiance ended up inviting Friend #1 after being guilted by a mutual friend. Come to find out that Friend #2 didn’t invite Friend #1 to their wedding for the same sentiments that we had… all the while we’re all at an engagement party for Friend #1…talking about our weddings. This was kind of awkward but what can you do, people will get over it.
Just wanted to give you an example of how things are working out in a similar situation to yours. I don’t find the situation to be dramatic at all and don’t see a problem with Friend #2 not inviting Friend #1. I’d have to say that if this friend did not get engaged, we wouldn’t have invited them to our wedding either.