(Closed) Unwanted Sexual Incompatibility- His thing is TOO BIG.

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 17
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Sooo. I once dated a guy that was quite large. He was not my first, or my last. Something I found (and I am not assuming this is the case with you at all!) was that because so many women praised his size, he never learned technique. He would just roughly pound away. Yes, that hurt.

You both just need to talk about what you like, you lead him! Do what you want on your terms. If doggy style is too painful, try being on top so you can control everything. And lots of lube!

And most of all? I have the most amazing sex life with my Fiance because we have given up our issues. Decided to be comfortable in our own skin, and with each other. It makes a tremendous difference

Good luck, I am sure you’ll be fine! 🙂

Post # 18
569 posts
Busy bee

@I3ee:  if you are properly warmed up and ready, your vagina should lengthen and it shouldn’t be a problem!

Post # 19
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We had this problem – A LOT – during the first few years of our relationship.  I understand your frustration – it can be pretty upsetting to both of you when one of you isn’t enjoying it!

Things have improved sooo much so I have to assume that my body has adjusted to accommodate him.  Also, I’ve learned that my vagina is very different at different times throughout my monthly cycle!  Maybe start paying more attention to what times in your cycle it hurts and what times it’s not so bad and then try to take advantage of your new knowledge?  Good luck with everything. 🙂

Post # 20
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I just want to repeat what a lot of the other women are saying: the more you do it the easier it will be. You will stretch and the more you stretch and the more often you stretch the less you will “go back” and become tight again. Yes all the lube etc might seem like a lot of work but if you do it often and stretch yourself out then over time you might have to do less of the “prep” work. 

If you are both comfortable with it you might want to look into buying a dildo that is the same size as your SO to use on the days when you aren’t with him in order to keep yourself stretched. 

It really is like exercise, the more you do it the easier it will be (but this is so much more fun than exercise!)

Post # 21
27 posts

that’s what’s happened to me, I’ve stretched and it dosen’t hurt as bad now., (in fact it feels great, lol). But it still pains a little when we haven’t had sex for a while and he gets rowdy.

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