(Closed) Unwelcome Guests

posted 7 years ago in Home
  • poll: Should the extended family stay at a hotel or at the bride and groom's house?
    At a hotel! : (78 votes)
    95 %
    Stop being a b****, they should stay with you. : (4 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    No everyone should get a hotel!

    I was worried about this to but everyone was really reasonable. Both sets of parents got hotels and only our brothers stayed over but we did have the room for them.

    Post # 4
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Actually if I were in your shoes, I would offer my house to the in-laws and stay at a hotel with my new hubby! If they agree to babysit your daughter on your wedding night, it’s a win-win!

    Post # 5
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think to be fair to family, everyone should be asked to stay elsewhere. You don’t need extra stress of having houseguests while you are getting ready, plus you don’t want to have to spend time pointing out where everything is for them. Especially with one bathroom, your Fiance should understand that you need your space on your wedding day and it is not the proper time to be hosts at your house. Tell him you are looking forward to spending time with his family and would love to host out of town guests on a stress free weekend.

    Post # 6
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @moderndaisy: ditto– that is what i did! I felt badly asking my husband’s mother/step father/sister to stay in hotel because I had requested they come in TWO days before the wedding rather than one (because I was worried about blizzards and whatnot and they were flying)… but I had the same feeling as you that I did not want to be entertaining or stepping over people on the morning of my wedding. So, Darling Husband and I agreed that they would stay here for the weekend and I would get a hotel room to split with one of my bridesmaids for the night before the wedding. It was actually pretty nice because we got a room adjoining my parents so getting ready with my mom was a breeze, plus I was closer to our venue. Then the wedding night my husband and I moved to our own hotel room. 

    Post # 7
    643 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’ve opened the doors to my house so Fiance can spend more time with his Out of Town family and am going to figure out somewhere else where I can (and BM’s) get ready.

    Small price to pay for Fiance to have extra time with his fam. We have a 3 bedroom house and have about 8 people crammed into every corner, but again for the convenience and time together, everyone’s pretty excited! I won’t be there the night of, or morning of, but will be there the other 5 days they’re in town!

    Post # 8
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Hotel! The last thing you need is extra people around using the bathroom and crowding the space.

    I do like the suggestion of staying at a hotel yourselves but I always hate having to remember to take everything I need – plus sometimes I don’t sleep as well in hotels.

    Post # 9
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @moderndaisy: double ditto. You get out of the house. It will be more relaxing that day anyway. I stayed at a hotel and it was fantastic. I even slept the night before the wedding!

    Post # 10
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    We are having a bunch of our family stay at our house, which is fine with me since we are already techniclally married I don’t really care too much about the “wedding night.” We are planning on doing a little minimoon shortly after, so that will be fine for me. But in your situation, I totally agree with moderndaisy. That is a great idea! You guys get the room 😉

    Post # 11
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    We had a rule that nobodoy stays with us the weekend of the wedding. It’s just so stressful of a time, you don’t need to deal with house guests and making sure they’re ok.

    Post # 12
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Modern Daisy has a great idea but there is no way I would be sharing one bathroom on the day of the wedding.  So either have them stay somewhere else or you go stay somewhere else.  We considered having family stay with us and I am SO glad we did not go through with it.  I could not imagine having to spend the night before the wedding with family.

    Post # 13
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I don’t care who you are, there will be no-one staying at our house the week/weekend of our wedding. I also wouldn’t be comfortable relinquishing my home to relatives while I’m not there (everyones nosey, even if they say they’re not). Make them get a hotel. I’m sure everyone involved will be more comfortable that way. 

    Post # 14
    568 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    My entire family is flying in and they are ALL getting a hotel. It’s your wedding, I think that is a perfectly acceptable time to stay far far away from the bride and grooms house. 

    Post # 15
    1493 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @HeathersDay: My in-laws flew in early for our wedding. They “forgot” to book hotel time for those early days, so they stayed with my parents. In the days leading up to the wedding, my parents were just as busy as me with final preps, so they were a little underfoot at the time. Once my husband and I arrived for the weekend, they had to go to the hotel because my parents house only had room for our family friend and my husband and I. Hotel it all the way.

    Post # 16
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    What about dividing and conquering?  Offer mom a spot to stay, but regretfully tell sibs that while you love them, it’ll be too crazy plus you fully plan on monopolizing the bathroom the wedding day so they will have to use it by X early time.

    Really any option is fine as long as it’s communicated nicely: Keeping the place to yourself, sharing it with some of the inlaws, sharing it with all inlaws, giving it over and skedaddling for a hotel room.

    Does your family live nearby?  If not, you can always regretfully decline based on the fact that you can’t possibly host both sides of the family.  If yes, then ask them to put the inlaws up (your sibs can meet his sibs) instead.

    I was super surprised my cousin invited me up the week prior (night of the bachelorette party) to stay through until when her husband’s inlaws showed up who made prior “reservations.”  We left a night early though for our own place to give them some down time w/o anyone else that week.

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