Post # 1
My future husband’s family is from out of state. He expects that his mother, two brothers and sister in law (and possibly their children) will spend the day and night of our wedding at our house. We are in a small three bedroom/one bath house, and our daughter has one room, and we have the other. Is it rude to ask everyone to stay at a hotel? I really dont want to fight for my turn in the bathroom on the day of my wedding. And how do I tell my hubby without upsetting him? (He thinks I hate his family, which I don’t, I just don’t want anyone in my house.)
Post # 3
No everyone should get a hotel!
I was worried about this to but everyone was really reasonable. Both sets of parents got hotels and only our brothers stayed over but we did have the room for them.
Post # 4
Actually if I were in your shoes, I would offer my house to the in-laws and stay at a hotel with my new hubby! If they agree to babysit your daughter on your wedding night, it’s a win-win!
Post # 5
I think to be fair to family, everyone should be asked to stay elsewhere. You don’t need extra stress of having houseguests while you are getting ready, plus you don’t want to have to spend time pointing out where everything is for them. Especially with one bathroom, your Fiance should understand that you need your space on your wedding day and it is not the proper time to be hosts at your house. Tell him you are looking forward to spending time with his family and would love to host out of town guests on a stress free weekend.
Post # 6
@moderndaisy: ditto– that is what i did! I felt badly asking my husband’s mother/step father/sister to stay in hotel because I had requested they come in TWO days before the wedding rather than one (because I was worried about blizzards and whatnot and they were flying)… but I had the same feeling as you that I did not want to be entertaining or stepping over people on the morning of my wedding. So, Darling Husband and I agreed that they would stay here for the weekend and I would get a hotel room to split with one of my bridesmaids for the night before the wedding. It was actually pretty nice because we got a room adjoining my parents so getting ready with my mom was a breeze, plus I was closer to our venue. Then the wedding night my husband and I moved to our own hotel room.
Post # 7
I’ve opened the doors to my house so Fiance can spend more time with his Out of Town family and am going to figure out somewhere else where I can (and BM’s) get ready.
Small price to pay for Fiance to have extra time with his fam. We have a 3 bedroom house and have about 8 people crammed into every corner, but again for the convenience and time together, everyone’s pretty excited! I won’t be there the night of, or morning of, but will be there the other 5 days they’re in town!
Post # 8
Hotel! The last thing you need is extra people around using the bathroom and crowding the space.
I do like the suggestion of staying at a hotel yourselves but I always hate having to remember to take everything I need – plus sometimes I don’t sleep as well in hotels.
Post # 9
@moderndaisy: double ditto. You get out of the house. It will be more relaxing that day anyway. I stayed at a hotel and it was fantastic. I even slept the night before the wedding!
Post # 10
We are having a bunch of our family stay at our house, which is fine with me since we are already techniclally married I don’t really care too much about the “wedding night.” We are planning on doing a little minimoon shortly after, so that will be fine for me. But in your situation, I totally agree with moderndaisy. That is a great idea! You guys get the room 😉
Post # 11
We had a rule that nobodoy stays with us the weekend of the wedding. It’s just so stressful of a time, you don’t need to deal with house guests and making sure they’re ok.
Post # 12
Modern Daisy has a great idea but there is no way I would be sharing one bathroom on the day of the wedding. So either have them stay somewhere else or you go stay somewhere else. We considered having family stay with us and I am SO glad we did not go through with it. I could not imagine having to spend the night before the wedding with family.
Post # 13
I don’t care who you are, there will be no-one staying at our house the week/weekend of our wedding. I also wouldn’t be comfortable relinquishing my home to relatives while I’m not there (everyones nosey, even if they say they’re not). Make them get a hotel. I’m sure everyone involved will be more comfortable that way.
Post # 14
My entire family is flying in and they are ALL getting a hotel. It’s your wedding, I think that is a perfectly acceptable time to stay far far away from the bride and grooms house.
Post # 15
@HeathersDay: My in-laws flew in early for our wedding. They “forgot” to book hotel time for those early days, so they stayed with my parents. In the days leading up to the wedding, my parents were just as busy as me with final preps, so they were a little underfoot at the time. Once my husband and I arrived for the weekend, they had to go to the hotel because my parents house only had room for our family friend and my husband and I. Hotel it all the way.
Post # 16
What about dividing and conquering? Offer mom a spot to stay, but regretfully tell sibs that while you love them, it’ll be too crazy plus you fully plan on monopolizing the bathroom the wedding day so they will have to use it by X early time.
Really any option is fine as long as it’s communicated nicely: Keeping the place to yourself, sharing it with some of the inlaws, sharing it with all inlaws, giving it over and skedaddling for a hotel room.
Does your family live nearby? If not, you can always regretfully decline based on the fact that you can’t possibly host both sides of the family. If yes, then ask them to put the inlaws up (your sibs can meet his sibs) instead.
I was super surprised my cousin invited me up the week prior (night of the bachelorette party) to stay through until when her husband’s inlaws showed up who made prior “reservations.” We left a night early though for our own place to give them some down time w/o anyone else that week.