(Closed) Upcoming vacation, thinking he may propose- knowing he won’t, how not to be sad

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

Good Luck and calm down, just enjoy the anniversary and the fact he is celebrating it in such a fantastic way!

Post # 4
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

how can you be 100% sure he hasnt bought the ring?

Post # 5
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

try and just focus on, “when it’s meant to happen, it will”… if it doesnt happen on the trip, at least you will be surprised when he does do it, and I’m sure he will come up with a wonderful proposal for you… just hang in there… if he’s talking that much about it, obviously you can’t be waiting that much longer, just be a LITTLE more patient and enjoy the vacation, i’m sure it will be happening soon 🙂  Good luck.

Post # 6
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

I am in the same shoes as you with an upcoming trip to Wisconsin, so I don’t have  a ton of advice 🙁

But I like @europomme’s.. “when it’s meant to happen, it will”….. I know it’s hard but that’s what I am going to tell myself!

I also went through a crazy patch after we first brought it up… it’s just really tough being in the dark about all of it. The boys could never understand! 😛

 

Post # 7
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I know how you feel. I’m going on vacation with my boyfriend in July. It will also be our 4 year anniversary. I’m going a little crazy too.

Post # 8
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Poor girly. Don’t fret. Enjoy nyc! Its an awesome place! 🙂

Maybe it will happen but tell yourself it won’t.

I did that with my last big trip with my now fiance.

We got engaged just 3 months after the trip.

It will happen, he wouldn’t say such things otherwise but for now enjoy his 5 star dinner and romance.

Have a talk with him in a few months if you feel led on but don’t ruin your beautiful trip by expecting too much.

Stay positive and let us know either way.

Xxx

Post # 9
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Maybe he hasn’t bought a ring, but is still thinking about proposing! In my experience, it’s not until the guy is ready to get engaged that he will even utter the W word 😉

Post # 10
Member
1820 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was in the same situation – totally thought it would happen on a specific vacation.  Then, at the airport, FH – who is normally totally paranoid – was acting completely normal, so I thought, it’s not happening.  Because, obviously, if he had a ring on him he would be super over-protection of his carry-on, his jacket, etc.  But he wasn’t.  Fast forward to day 2 of our vacation… proposal.

I thought it was definitely happening about 5 times before that trip, and I KNOW I delayed the proposal by 6+ months by bringing it up, nagging, generally losing my mind.  So, waiting advice:  don’t overthink it.  Repeat after me, and europomme: It. Will. Happen. When. It. Happens.  :o)  In the meantime, have an AWESOME time in New York.

Post # 11
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I totally know how you feel…I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years…we’re going to Sweden next week..and all I can think is OMG that would be so romantic to engaged…I mean could I have set it up even better? I mentioned it…and he was like yeah it’s not going to happen so lets just enjoy our trip….but then in the very back of my mind I’m like wait maybe he’s saying that to throw me off…. He even said how would I even pack it..and i’m like duh carry on…not that hard…So my solution is to really not think about it. I am like 99% sure it’s NOT gong to happen… so I really want to focus on having a good time and enjoying my vacation…even if he is an idiot for not taking adavantage of an awesome proprosal opportunity.

Post # 12
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Here’s a funny story by a girl who writes for Glamour magazine:

http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2009/09/have-you-ever-been-completely.html

She’d been convinced it was THE moment, but… well, read it and see.  It made me laugh, and feel good that I’m not the only one who’s let er hopes get dashed by having an expectation that didn’t fit into his current plans.

Just make sure you don’t let expectations ruin an awesome trip, especially when there are plenty of other opportunities coming up with holidays all through Feb. Even if it’s in his plans, 1 million things might interfere with him being able to propose on this trip, so just try to be happy that he’s obviously comfortable enough with the idea to mention it, and take things s they come 🙂

Post # 13
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Like some other bees, I am in the same position! Have a fantastic trip planned to Cancun and Playa del Carmen at the end of this month with my BF – two weeks before our three year anniversary! I keep thinking it would be the PERFECT time, since I know the trip will provide for some very romantic moments. But I also know that he has not bought the ring yet. My BF is always doing the “you’re my wifey” stuff and “when we get married” so I know it’s on the brain! I am going to try to enjoy the trip, and our anniversary, and Xmas….if nothing happens by January THEN I will give myself permission to flip out again 🙂 I know it will be hard but just try to have fun and enjoy the trip for what it is, I am sure whenever he does propose will be just as romantic no matter where it happens.

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