Post # 1
so, he came back that night and moved out. however, we’ve still been trying to work at our relationship. (whatever that means.) he said he won’t see his friends ever again until the day i feel comfortable going out with my friends. so when his friend called yesterday he said, “yea sorry man i got into trouble. i have to make it up to her.” that seriously ticked me off like no other. why am i the bad guy??? not only that he said the “club” he went to wasn’t really much of a club. yea too bad his best bud posted a youtube clip of the club.
Post # 3
🙁 It seems like this is becoming cyclical, which worries me. Every couple goes through bumps in the road, but if those same bumps keep coming back, and discussion and dealing with them either 1) cannot be done in a healthy way, or 2) is ineffectual (i.e. doesn’t prevent it from happening again later), then I worry that a relationship is doomed to continue repeating the same patterns.
I know how hard it is to walk away from someone who is your best friend (my ex was mine), but sometimes distance, time and space are the only ways to truly see your own relationship clearly.
Unless you are seeing real and lasting improvement, it seems you have to find a way to make a change that will last and will be real. That might mean a break, it might mean leaving, it might mean something else. I don’t know. No one can fix this except you and your Fi, working together. If that’s not an option, then it’s not fixable.
Post # 4
… until you feel comfortable going out with your friends? I thought YOU were comfortable going out with your friends, but that HE wasn’t comfortable with you going out with them? This isn’t a pattern you want to repeat ad nauseum.
Post # 5
I’m glad he moved out. And that he isn’t seeing his friends. The reason he probably said it like that to his friend was to sound “cool” to them, so i wouldn’t worry to much about that. But you still need to make yourself happy. Is he ok with you going out with your friends? are you guys comfortable in your relationship and selves to go out without each other and trust each other? If he is lying to you about stupid crap (like club not being a real club) then what else is he lying about? What do YOU really want?
Post # 6
Its not fair that he is putting this as your fault. He needs to be a man and take responsibility for his own stupid mistakes!
Post # 7
Please run as fast as you can. He really sounds like he is trying to control you. IMO does not seem like he has learned anything once you got serious and changed locks. “I got in trouble!” Yeah um kick him to the curb, and realize you are WORTH IT. Take a look at other situations he may be controlling you in??? You don’t want to be in this down the road..
Best of luck, stay strong.