- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
My last post was 3 months ago, the day after my ex-DH told me he wanted to separate.
How time flies. The past 3 months have been a bit of a blur, I feel like so much has happened yet nothing has happened at the same time.
I moved into a gorgeous townhouse with my older brother. It’s about 30 minutes from where I used to live and so far I have really enjoyed this change. My brother can be pretty annoying but I am sure he feels the same about me and I can’t afford to live alone.
Work has not been fantastic. I am thinking about applying for new roles. Although I love the girls I work with, I find the actual work boring and I think this is making me feel down as I am not engaged while I am here. This is a big step for me, I am very risk adverse so this much change in such a small time makes me feel anxious.. but also excited.
I am also thinking about studying beauty therapy at night. Its something i’ve always had an interest in and I think it would be a great way to keep myself occupied and meet new friends.
I have been dating. Boy, have I been dating. This also needs to stop I think. At first, I would just agree to dates as it was a fun way to fill my time and get out of the house. Now though, I feel really bitter towards dating. I have focused a lot of my energy into dating and it is draining me. I started seeing someone about a month ago but he is a lot like my ex and pushes me away and pulls me in. I am not looking for anything serious anyway, just someone to spend time with but it shouldn’t be hard like this. I need to enjoy just spending time alone, but this is harder than I thought it would be.
I now hate sitting at home by myself. Some nights i’ll go to the gym or see friends but all my friends are married/living with partners and I feel like I’m intruding. I used to love Friday nights on the lounge with my ex. We would browse the internet and watch a movie. Now, that makes me feel miserable and boring.
On the plus side, ex-DH and I have a fantastic relationship. He is still my best friend. We speak every day, will see each other atleast once a week and have kept it semi-platonic. It’s nice when I am having a down day to be able to call him and say “this is hard” and have him agree and know exactly how I feel.
So bee’s.. that is it. Life after marriage. I’m 25, I am still young and I can start again.. but its scary and I don’t know who I am without my ex. For anyone that has come out of a long term relationship, do you have any advice on things I can do? Productive ways to fill my time? Or even advice on how to start enjoying my own company?