UPDATE: 5 years and I feel like a shell of the woman I once waS

posted 5 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
2745 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

vballercm :  so glad you have a plan op! Keep us updated.  We’re here for you!

Post # 3
Member
7852 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Good for you bee! Keep us posted. You’re going to get through this.

Post # 4
Member
930 posts
Busy bee

Id like to hear updates after this weekend! Best of luck! remember, maybe he wasnt ready to put money down for a ring at those before times…most men think about marriage in general, but dont thnk about the steps and ring, and saving and etc in specific. hopefully he’s ready now!

Post # 5
Member
987 posts
Busy bee

Glad to hear your update bee!

It sounds like you need a fresh start and hopefully therapy can be the catalyst for that. It may be best for you to move on from this guy, and having a therapist for support may give you the strength to do that.

If it works out with this guy, you will still have the vital tools you need to take better care of yourself and to put your health and happiness first, no matter what. Keep us posted!

Post # 7
Member
2745 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

vballercm :  so what happened op after you spoke yesterday????

Post # 9
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

Good for you for voicing your needs, Bee!!

And frankly, despite his earlier waffling, it sounds as though your SO really does have your wellbeing in mind. Try to take him at his word about it happening this year, just for the sake of your peace of mind. Maybe continue to check in with him every once in a while (you could even schedule check-in dates with him ahead of time—unromantic, but reassuring), just so you’re not tying yourself in knots about what’s going on inside his head 🙂

Happy Birthday!

Post # 10
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

vballercm :  So proud of you for sticking to your guns and really saying what was on your mind. Honestly that is fantastic. I am sure that took a lot of courage and I am so glad you stood up for yourself. Please keep us all updated! 

Post # 11
Member
2745 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

vballercm :  I’m glad you were brave and spoke your mind op. Proud of you! He does sound caring. 

I do have concerns that he is STILL unable/ unwilling to articulate exactly *why* he is “not ready” at your ages and this many years into the relationship. Yet he is promising it will happen this year?  Clearly he is only *hoping* he’ll want to, and is just trying to buy even more time. Hope is not a plan….What exactly does he need to know/do/see to be “ready”?   He advised you to get counseling (great advice) but what is he doing to get *himself* “ready” while asking you to wait even longer?

Post # 12
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

 OP, I’m so happy for you! Finding your voice again must feel great.  I think PP has a really good point.  Your boyfriend literally kicked the can down the road for another 8 months.  He still hasn’t been able to articulate his thinking, or explain how he’s going to get himself ready to do so.  

mrstodd2bee : 

Post # 13
Member
2658 posts
Sugar bee

Believe it when you see it, not befoe.

Post # 14
Member
366 posts
Helper bee

vballercm :  Just reading your post and ealised that today is May 18. Any update on the talk planned for this day bee?

Post # 15
Member
3889 posts
Honey bee

They already talked. Now he’s busy showing her how much he loves and values her in ways that don’t include an engagement ring or commitment.

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