(Closed) update – advice needed

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Based on her parents’ personalities, could you gently suggest she wear nappies?  I would think that’s the best solution, and if the dress is long enough, no one would know.  You’re in an awkward position!  I hope it works out!  Also, maybe someone else could keep an eye on her until she has to go down the aisle?  Is there any way that could be arranged?

Post # 4
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Okay, I’m confused.  Your Future Sister-In-Law (is she a Bridesmaid?) daughter…. is she the flower girl? 

Is the 5 year old the bridesmaid?  Is it the 5 year old shitting herself or the FSIL?  

Yikes sorry, I’m confused. 

Post # 5
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you concerned about smell or getting it on her clothes?  They have those super cute plastic diaper cover ups.  There is nothing wrong with this suggestion.  It would be the same if a grown adult couldn’t control their bladder (or worse). This is a public event and nobody wants to be embarassed.  I would just make sure Mom and Dad are very diligently monitoring mis poopy pants ….well…pants.  Awww, poor baby. 

Post # 8
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you need to have Future Sister-In-Law on hand in case this happens at the wedding.  Have Future Sister-In-Law get ready with you all, be around for pics (maybe say you’re asking her to stick around in case the daughter gets nervous?)

Also, maybe its time to talk to Future Sister-In-Law or your In-Laws seriously about this little girl’s problem.  Are the parents just not toilet training her well?  Is there something going on at home that you don’t know about?  This sounds like there could be some psychological drama behind it.

Post # 9
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@ticatica:  That’s tough.  I still think nappies are the best solution though!

Post # 10
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would mention simply that you don’t want her to have an accident and be embarrassed in front of everyone, so a ‘big kid’ pullup diaper (or whatever they’re called) would be a perfect option. You could get a cute one and tell her it is part of her ‘bridal undergarments’. 

Post # 11
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My 4 year old has only just started using the toilet for number 2s.  She picked up number 1s at a really young age, but it has taken us a long time to get her where she now is.  And it was an almost over night change that she now uses the toilet 100% all the time, no nappies needed.

I think if it is still a problem come wedding day, get some pull ups for her.  They aren’t huge and bulky like nappies, and will do the job of giving everyone some peace of mind.

Post # 13
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree.  Tactfully chat with the mom, have her stick around for the get ready just in case, and get the pull-ups. 

On another note, a friend of mine’s 7 year old does this.  She won’t take him to the Dr.  Do your in-laws know what the issue is?

Post # 16
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

🙁  If the mom yells at her for having an accident, maybe you shouldn’t talk to the mom about it.  Could you go to the store and buy some pullups and just put her in them on the day?  If she’s embarrassed about having an accident, maybe she’ll be willing to wear the pullups.

 

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