(Closed) Update: After a broken engagement :(

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

*hug*

I just want to say how sorry I am. I truly understand how you feel right now, but you WILL get through this. One particular part of your post stood out to me:

That boy would have never left the way he did. 

I think you hit the nail on the head right there – he was a boy then. You change so much through your teen and young adult years, and people become what they might have thought they wouldn’t. I know it’s hard to rectify who he is today with who he was then, but just remember that you are worth REAL love and support. If he can’t or won’t offer that, then it’s definitely for the best that you are parting ways.
 
Hang in there!

Post # 4
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh my goodness! I am so, so, so sorry to hear this! I really bow down to you right now that the fact you are thinking straight, even through this extremely difficult time. Many people don’t take these sort-of things as well as you do. You should feel really proud of yourself, treat yourself to a spa or to get a mani-pedi. I personally believe, everything happens for a reason. This may be for the better for you. I am so sorry something like this truly happened to you. You are right life is not perfect. We all have these sort-of days. God bless you and your kind heart.

Post # 6
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@butterfly1988:  I’m so sorry for all the pain you are going through, but it truely sounds like you’re in the best place given the circumstances. You are right–one day you will be grateful for this experience. While we weren’t together for 9 years, my high school boyfriend and I were together for 3 and when we broke up I was absolutely crushed. I cried every day for months. Now I look back and I’m so thankful. I’m thankful for the time we were together and all the things it taught me. I’m thankful he broke my heart and taught me I could live through it and be stronger. And I’m very very thankful I’m not his wife. 

Keep working at being happy. Join a club, take a class, start walking in the fresh air every day…. you will build a life on your own that you can be happy with. 

Post # 7
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Your past is NOT tainted forever.  Your past is what makes you into the woman you are today.  Good, bad and otherwise.  It won’t be tomorrow or next week or maybe even next year, but you will look back at this someday.  Not with shame or sadness, but with pride at the woman you’ve become, and the strength that you’ve gained from this.  You’ll look back at this and think on him and laugh at the thought of settling for such a fool.  And believe it or not, someday you will be so incredibly grateful that this happened, because it gave you the opportunity for true happiness.

Post # 8
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

*lots of hugs*so sorry to hear this!

Honestly I do know exactly what you are going through because FH actually broke off our engagement back in November 2012. I was devestated and feeling just the way you did. I cried myself to sleep every night and pretty much kept to myself. We did see each other face to face to give each other’s stuff back and that was that. I was so hurt because I felt so strongly for him and time and time again he told me he felt strongly about me too. I went to work and just kept my mind focused on that. I did treat myself to a little shopping and just enjoyed the time alone and in the end I just said to myself “if things are meant to be it will happen for us”.

Like someone said people do tend to change between a teen and an adult. I know FH is not the way he is when he was in his younger years. He’s a much better person and understands how a relationship should really be. We did work out our issues but I know something like that can’t happen for everyone.

It’s best that it was realized now rather than divorcing later. I’m sure you will find someone but take your time. Focus on you 🙂

 

Post # 9
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014

*hugs*

I know it hurts.  And it seems like life has no meaning.  But it does.  YOU are important!  Be kind to yourself.  Do something nice for yourself(a mani or pedi or facial) Take a walk with a friend.  Call someone. Do things you love to do.  Always wanted to do.  Never dreamed of doing. 

Just know that you were not the problem.  And at least you found out now~before you got married.

 

Post # 10
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

“i hope one day i will look back at this experience that left me with almost no life and smile and thank God for interfering with destiny”

You will. 100%

So sorry you’re going through this, life is so painful sometimes. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself though, try to get some sleep and eat well, surround yourself with good people <3

Post # 11
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hang in there dear. *hugs*

So sorry that you had to go through this, but in the end, I am sure fate is saying that it wasn’t meant to be, better that it be now rather then after you are married. Stay strong and please surround yourself with family and friends during this difficult time.  The pain will eventually start subsiding, so in the meantime, like you mentioned, focus on rediscovering yourself and take care of yourself both mentally and physically. Its tough, like others, I know, I’ve been there (mine was only a 7 yr relationship, we were extremely happy, and I didnt see it coming, my ex-dumped me).  Let this be your opportunity to continue to grow as a person, you will find someone who loves you and is deserving of you.

Post # 12
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

God does indeed have a plan for you…he plans on presenting someone who DESERVES your love, someone who loves you as much as you love them, and when you least expect it he will be there.

I think this is the perfect time to start eating healthy, burning those old love notes, and start joining some clubs. You may hurt for months, maybe even a year, but it WILL get better and you WILL heal but the healing starts with you.

Many, many hugs 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1783 posts
Buzzing bee

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually, it WILL get better, your heart will heal and when the time is right your wiser self will find the person you’re meant to be with.

Post # 14
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@butterfly1988: He obviously wasn’t the right man for you. Painful as it might be now,  it will one day be a distant memory. Head up, get your life back on track, and next thing you know it won’t hurt anymore.  The more you mope about, skipping work acting as if life is over, the more pain you are bringing onto yourself.

Post # 16
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Here is a quote my friend told me yesterday…haven’t known my guy for 9 years like you, but he did a 180 on me too: “When things fall apart, they are actually falling into place.”

I agree with what other ladies are telling you: be good to yourself, right now do any and all things that make you happy, join a gym and get what they call “revenge booty” :), learn new makeup tricks….he will regret it one day…but you will be too happy to care…take care love.

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