(Closed) Update: After a broken engagement :(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
Member
29 posts
Newbee

@butterfly1988:  I just wanted to share a hug, and let you know you are not alone. Please keep pushing through.

Post # 19
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Hang in there hun.  It will get better and in the end you will be much better off without him!

Post # 20
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Focus on you. Find things to keep yourself busy, hang out with your girlfriends and family. I know this is a difficult time but you’ll get through it. Just hang in there and you’ll think of him less and less.

Post # 21
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@butterfly1988:  I wish I could say something that would truly make you feel better, but the best I can do is that you’re not alone. The situation really sucks. And if you’re up to hearing words of encouragement…(if not don’t read the rest of this post)

 

 

 

 

 

Everything happens for a reason, whether you see it right now or not. I got married at 21, not for love, but just to be married and get out of my mother’s house. That marriage was horrible. I was alone, I felt unloved, unappreciated, unimportant, he just honestly didn’t care for me the way a husband should. We lived 3 1/2 hours away from my parents, his family hated me, then we moved 7 1/2 hours away from my parents. A few short months later we seperated and then I was really truly alone, but with 3 kids.

Soon after I met a new guy. We had a ridiculous, tumultuous, hurricane of a relationship. He was abusive. Somewhat physically and extremely mentally. We were together for 8 years, but I refused to marry him. Of those 8 years 4 were spent delicately trying to get him to leave without resulting in my death. After he finally left he stalked me. I was yet again alone, by this time with 5 kids.

I was soooo depressed and everything seemed like it could never get better. But it did. I met the man I have now. He wouldn’t hurt a hair on my head. He’s never called me a bad name or even purposely hurt my feelings. He’s not as beautiful as the abusive guy. He doesn’t make a ton of money. And the sad truth is, had it not been for my two previous disappointing relationships I may have overlooked a guy like him. And I know for sure I never even would have met this guy. I have no family here and no reason to be here if I hadn’t moved here with my ex. And I probably wouldn’t have noticed this nice, quiet, respectful, wonder, hard working man had it not been for the torturous, disasterous relationship I had before him. So even though I regret having those two relationships I still feel like they were necessary to get me where I am today. And someday you will too.

Post # 22
Member
3083 posts
Sugar bee

@butterfly1988:  You sound like you are doing wonderful for someone who has gone through what you have. 2 weeks after break up and i was still a huge mess. He sounds like a A** he left like a coward. You are totally right, he DOESNT deserve your heart. Give it to someone who will appreciate it. At this point, even if he wanted to come back I would not let him. Look how easy it was for him to say “you’re not good enough, im out” you deserve someone who worships the ground you walk on. Sounds like you would have spent your life trying to live up to his standards. Again, throw yourself into YOU. Take an art class, a zumba class, go wine tasting with the girls. Do things that make you happy!

Post # 23
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@butterfly1988:  wow. Your posts hit so close to home. I too was in a very long term (9+ years) relationship, engaged and planning a wedding. And he called it off. 

It has only been a month for me and it isnt getting any easier. I feel for you. I know I do not even know you but I want you to know my heart goes out to you and I hope that you too can find happiness again. 

someone better is out there for us both. We just need to believe it. I know I sound cliche, but we need to keheader heads up! 

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