(Closed) Update: BF sneaking around with another girl

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7425 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I agree with you that if he felt he had to keep it from you because you would be upset that it’s something he SHOULDN’T be doing. He sounds like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Post # 5
6262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Good luck! I hope it goes okay.

Post # 6
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MissZeppelin:  Red flags, red flags, red flags. He is lying to you about a female that he has previously had feelings for. I am sorry and maybe this is just me, but I have never had a crush on someone and then went on and had strictly platonic friendships with them where I had no feelings towards them. If you are attracted to someone, you are attracted to someone.

He sounds a lot like my ex and I am so so sorry you are going through this. We would always have situations similar to yours, and he would lie and lie some more until I finally had to beg the truth out of him or find out on my own. Once a mutual friend let me know that he was groping another girl’s boobs “jokingly” when they were all at a park, and after he lied about it and kept giving me different stories he came clean… and then blamed it on ME because I apparently didn’t let him spend time with his friends. Which was crap. I am not saying he is cheating, but I am saying he has severely damaged the trust in your relationship by lying about a girl he has a past with and I just feel like he is taking a trip down a very dangerous path.

Good luck to you. Trust your gut instinct. We are here for you.

Post # 7
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MissZeppelin:  If nothing happened, I don’t understand his hesitation to be honest with you about the instances he has hung around this girl. It’s a little fishy if you ask me…

Post # 8
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MissZeppelin:  None of it sounds great. I hope your talk goes ok, and I hope that you put yourself first and don’t let him away with this shady behaviour! Let us know how everything turns out.

Post # 9
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Good luck with your talk. This behavior of his is not the way to build a solid foundation for a relationship in the future. I believe you should still be in the ‘honeymoon’ phase even after 9 months.

Post # 10
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yah you need to listen to your gut on this one. He’s being extremely shady. I wouldn’t tolerate this behavior whatsoever. I’ve dated my share of shady men and this guy isn’t worth your time.

Post # 12
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

So sketchy!! Even if he hasn’t done anything physical, he’s at the very least testing the waters. He shouldn’t have to THINK about what he has to say! The truth is the truth and you can just SAY it!!! If you have to “think” about it first, it’s because you’re making it up.

Gpod luck OP, I hope everything works out for you!!

Post # 13
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MissZeppelin:  I just think he is very immature. Even if he isn’t cheating per se, he’s sneaking around. This isn’t something that a mature guy in a serious relationship would do. The fact he knows it’s wrong on some level and that you’ll be upset speaks volumes. I don’t get why this chick is important to him enough that he is jeaopardizing what he has with you. I would let him know that this is absolutely unacceptable, and if he does something like this again, I would get out.. it’s just not worth dealing with this sort of crap before you’re even married.

Post # 14
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would go with your instincts on this one. Even if he hasn’t technically cheated, all the lying and putting himself in the way of temptation is not worth putting up with. 

Post # 15
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ah yes, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… Trust your gut on this one. Really – will you ever be able to trust this guy?

Post # 16
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@MissZeppelin:  Wow. I really can’t do anything, but be blunt. You are making excuses for a liar and cheater (or future cheater). You know the answer to this one, whether or not you choose to see it is totally up to you. Sorry for being rough, but this is not a sugar coat needing situation.

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