(Closed) To those of you thinking about calling it off.. (UPDATE)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@ringdilemma:  thanks for sharing your story! I am happily married and never thought of calling off an engagement but it was nice to hear your story. I am sure there are mnay ladies on here who will really appreciate you sharing. I am sorry that you went through so much pain but also so happy that it lead you to the one!! congrats honey!

Post # 4
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m glad to hear things worked out for you. Hopefully other bees in the same situation can have the same ending. =)

Post # 5
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ringdilemma:  thanks for sharing! I hope that inspires at least someone to do what they need to do!

Post # 6
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Thanks for sharing this. It’s awesome. I didn’t call off a wedding, but I did walk out of a four year relationship that seemed to be heading that way, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 

Post # 7
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I think that’s a great story to share! I had a friend call off her wedding (before much had been planned, but still) and within a few months she’d met the man she is now blissfully married to, and they have two children. I shudder to think what would have happened if she’d gone through with the first wedding, just to keep up appearances. Glad to hear you are doing so well!

Post # 8
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@ringdilemma:  Nice.  I’m glad it worked out for you.  It always makes me sad to see girls/women staying in relationships that aren’t right just because they don’t want to face the “leaving” part.  I was that girl (eons ago), and it was the best thing that ever could have happened for me when I finally left!

Post # 9
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Amen!

Post # 10
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I should’ve called off my first wedding. I thought about it and kept it to myself and worried and worried and worried, but I went through with it because deposits were paid, gifts were received, RSVPs were in. I was a mistake. I wish I had had your strength and I encourage others in that situation to really reflect and to make the hard decision if necessary. If you know you should end it, you will feel that pain either now or during a terrible marriade and after a divorce.

Post # 11
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Thank you for sharing! It gives great hope to those who are going through the rough decision of “to call off or not to call off?”.

Post # 12
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

what a great post that can help so many who have doubts!

Post # 13
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Thank you for sharing your story.  I am glad you had the courage to do what was in your (and his) best interest.  A very dear friend of mine is now going through a divorce.  Both my husband and I were in the summer 2011 wedding. Everyone thought they were a good fit and they seemed to be in love.  Only, this summe,r she finally confided in a few of us that she doubted herself the entire engagement/wedding process but was too scared to say something.  She thought she was “doing the right thing” by getting married, especially since lots of money had already been spent.  If she had expressed these feelings earlier to her friends and family, to a therapist, anyone we would have supported her decision to call off the marriage.  Now we are supporting her (and him) through this divorce.  Moral of the story…if you have doubts, share them.  Talk it out with someone.  And trust yourself, just like the OP did. 

Post # 14
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

Ultimately life will always go on!

Post # 15
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ringdilemma

I was just going through my bookmarks this afternoon and found this post, which I clearly had found when I was going through my own wedding dilemma.  Through your post and some books and other messages I found on boards and blogs across the web, I found the courage to do the right thing for me, which was to break things off with my fiance.  Like your ex, he was a good man but not the right good man for me.

Also like you I have met someone…actually someone I went to high school with.  I can’t even believe that I almost married someone with whom I didn’t have this connection.  I can’t say that I’ve found the “One” but I can say I’ve never been so happy or well treated, or felt so much like I found my match, and if things keep going this way then I guess I’m about the luckiest girl alive.

So anyone out there who may have found this post, and is wondering “should I call it off?”  Be strong.  You will know in your heart if it’s not right to marry that man, and it’s 1000X better to never marry, regardless of any reason you have to just go through with it, than it is to marry and divorce shortly after.  

Post # 16
Member
9489 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@falafelly:  Glad it worked out!  I know a lot of people who are too scared to leave a relationship because they are afraid of being alone.  It’s no way to live!  I’ve dated people where I questioned if it was right or not, luckily for me I was always happy to be alone rather than with someone just to be with someone.  You’ll never know what you’re missing if you’re wasting your time with the wrong person!

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