UPDATE: Devastated – just married and accidentally pregnant :( *TW abortion*

posted 10 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
13464 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry you’re struggling with your decision.  This is a still loss you have to grieve in your own way.  Have you thought about talking to a counselor to address all your feelings?  These are things you don’t want to silently carry with you.  You need to forgive yourself for a decision you regret — one you made with all of the information you could have had and with logic and reason (that is to say, not an impulsive or “bad” decision).  Please, talk to someone and forgive yourself.  

I applaud you for making this post and showing that even when you think you’ve made the right decision, there are consequences and crazy emotions that go along with this.  I can only hope that you find peace soon.  xoxo

Post # 3
Member
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

So sorry bee. I really am and it was a huge decision to make. It will get easier and there will be babies soon in your future when you’re ready. Thank you for speaking out about how you’re feeling xx

Post # 4
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’m so sorry you feel like this. I’m sure it was a difficult decision to make in the first place and having regret and guilt on top I’m sure it’s horrible. But as pp mention, you have to grieve this loss and forgive yourself. I’d imagine because it’s not over yet, it’s hard to just leave it behind. I hope you find peace soon and give yourself some time to heal. I wish you the best, hugs.

 

Post # 5
Member
1567 posts
Bumble bee

Thanks so much sharing … Take care you are so strong xx

Post # 6
Member
1683 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I am so sorry you are struggling.  There is really no easy way out of an unplanned pregnancy.  Parenting, adoption, abortion, and miscarriage can all be physically grueling and emotionally challenging in their own way.  And there are risks of physical complications with all of them.  Plus the roller coaster of hormones.  Be kind to yourself.  You tried to make the right choice for yourself from a menu of difficult options.  You had no way of knowing what physical complications you would end up with from either abortion or childbirth, and how you would emotionally respond to either.  From an emotional perspective, it seems you have learned something about yourself that you didn’t know before.  It is possible you would have regretted any decision you made, because you would be comparing your real life struggles to an imagined ideal alternative.  Or maybe you have learned that abortion is definitely not for you, and now you know.  Focus on getting through your recovery.  Getting your hormones in order will help clear your mind.  It is okay to have all these feelings.  Find someone to talk about them with. I will be sending positive thoughts your way for your continued & full recovery, and for you to find peace with your decision.

Post # 7
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee

That’s so difficult to deal with. Sorry you are going through it. I️ feel strangers giving someone advice on something as important and complex is completely irresponsible. I️ remember the prior thread was full of get an abortion sentiment. 

You did what you thought was best with circumstances at that time. You are so strong and will get through this. It’s so difficult now, but with time it will get better little by little. Hugs. 

Post # 8
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

anonbee1991 :  The decision you made is incredibly difficult and will take time to live with. Not exactly the same situation but back when my husband and I starting dating I became pregnant. We weren’t exactly careful. I decided to go through with the procedure. I knew it was the right decision but still felt guilt. Even years later now with two babygirls I still randomly think about that babies life I ended. It will never go away – always be in the back of your mind.  Just know with time you will eventually heal.  Regarding the acne I dealt with that too. I allowed a few months to pass to see if my body would adjust but it didn’t. I ended up seeing the derm and the dr prescibed spironolactone which helps w/ hormonal acne. It took my acne away in a month and never came back. If it doesn’t clear up perhaps this could help. Sending you lots of hugs! 

Post # 9
Member
9637 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Im sorry for your loss. I hope your body and heart heal soon. 

Post # 10
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I am so sorry that you are hurting emotionally, spiritually and physically 🙁 abortion is not an easy option to be taken lightly.

Post # 11
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m sorry. 

Unless a doctor has told you different, I don’t think you should rule out hormones just yet. We all respond differently and pregnancy/abortion is a “shock” to the system. Some people go through it just fine and others have issues for longer than it seems they should. And the fact that you are still bleeding tells me that your system has not readjusted yet. 

Post # 12
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry that you are struggling and that the procedure didn’t go as planned. I remember your last thread. It sounds like you made the decision you thought was best for you at the time, but of course we can never anticipate how we’ll feel in the future. I think what you’re feeling is very normal, and while I’m sure you’ll never forget the experience, I’m certain that you’ll be happy and feel more like yourself again in the future. Hugs. 

Post # 13
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I’m so sorry you are going through all of this. What an incredibly hard situation you’ve had to face.

When I was much younger the same thing happened to me. I became pregnant, was so conflicted, but eventually ended up terminating. The grief and feelings of loss were intense. I never told anyone how difficult it was, but I felt the same things you describe. I was a nanny at the time and could hardly stand being around the baby. It got so bad I would have thoughts of ending things sometimes. 

I don’t know if these feelings were hormones. But what I do know is now, almost 10 years later, I am completely at peace with my decision. I know I did the right thing for my situation. I say this to hopefully give you some solace. Things will get better.

I do echo the suggestion to talk to a counselor about it though. Or a trusted friend even. I feel, in hindsight, my biggest mistake was being too ashamed to talk to a single soul about it. I think things could have been easier if I had opened up to someone. 

Try to go easy on yourself. You faced a tough situation that many others just like you also struggle with. You made the right decision for you. I am sending good vibes your way, bee. 

Post # 14
Member
2415 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

 I hope you find peace bee. Also sending healing vibes.

Post # 15
Member
2563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

anonbee1991 :  I’m so sorry! I think you’re brave and you may have helped others with your honesty!  Hope the bleeding and the infection go away and you feel better very soon. 

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