(Closed) UPDATE: Do I tell my bff that my husband cheated on me?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I tell my BFF that my husband cheated on me before we were engaged?

    Yes, at least she can help support you through this

    No, it will just further complicate things if you stay with him

  • Post # 17
    Member
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    First and foremost, I am so very sorry to hear that your marriage has been tested but am giving you kudos for being open enough to listen to your hubby.

    In my opinion I believe that you do need support but you need to really flashback on your relationship with your BFF before including them in the mix. Is this a person that is not going to judge your husband’s behavior 5, 10, 20 years from now based on a mistake? Are they a “gossip queen” that could tell you anything and everything about everyone? Truthfully, it is something that only you can decide.

    I wish you the best and can tell you, from experience, that this is not an obstacle that cannot be overcome. Patience, love, understanding, & change (by both parties) can conquer quite a bit!

    Post # 18
    Member
    3798 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @strawberryavalanche: Thank you. You said what I felt about this all along but wasn’t quite about to put in words…

    Post # 19
    Member
    4544 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If you want support and advice, tell your BFF! As another poster pointed out, that’s why we have them! If you want to tell her, tell her! Go with what you feel is best.

    Post # 21
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    @wheretogo: That’s totally understandable. Maybe this is something you can bring up in counseling! That may help you work through your feelings of shame and embarrassment. I wish you the best and think you are handling this devastating situation very smartly.

    Post # 22
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    ps. thanks for continually checking in with us! A lot of people ask for our advice and then leave after the first post or two.

    Post # 22
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    ps. thanks for continually checking in with us! A lot of people ask for our advice and then leave after the first post or two.

    Post # 23
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I’d call my best friend. I’d tell her “He cheated. I don’t know what this means or if we can work it out, but I need someone to talk to.”

    Post # 24
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee

    You should tell your friend because you need a friend. End of. And yes, you do need a friend. That’s what friends are for.

    Whether or not your Fiance told his friend is irrelevant to whether you can tell yours.

    And no, I don’t think there is anything wrong with him telling his friend. He didn’t do it to humiliate you. He did it because he needed a friend too. He is surely upset and wanting to work things out, his head would be a mess and he would need friends. That is normal and you shouldn’t be angry about it. If he hadn’t told anyone and wasn’t trying to work it out, then you would have yourself a problem. As it is, you don’t. You just have to be brave and talk to each other, and talk to others if it helps you to be brave and move on.

    The topic ‘UPDATE: Do I tell my bff that my husband cheated on me?’ is closed to new replies.

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