(Closed) UPDATE: "Guest-created Wedding Drama" — somehow got worse?

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 18
41 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

Don’t send them an invite. I think this would make you feel safer. I don’t know what kind of relations the US has with the Philippines, but… I can tell you that I’ve been to USCIS interviews countless of times for visitors visas for my family and I. It is really difficult to get one (that’s the kind of relations the US has with my country). A wedding invite would not be a valid reason for them to issue one to me. I would have to prove my education, job ties, bank accounts, mortgages, etc, in my country. The more ties I have with my country the better the chance they would issue one to me. The only time when a wedding invite becomes relevant is when they go through customs (already having a visitors visa at hand), and they have to provide the address they will be staying at. There is no need to mention a name, just an address. I hope this helps and hope everything works out for you! 

Post # 19
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

That is super shady, but you had nothing to do with it.

If you are worried about it, you could email the family members (or even your mom if she has been the main contact) to reiterate they aren’t invited and not to try to use that as an excuse. Then at least it’s in writing. 

That said, I had a close friend from Malaysia attend my wedding and she was required to do a similar interview, provide save the dates, invites, etc. I also had a call from the State Dept to confirm that she was a wedding guest.

I would leave it for now and just be prepared to tell the truth if contacted.

Post # 20
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Maui, Hawaii

I say invite them. Ask her to be a sponsor. Take her money. Let her get all done up. Then kick them out before dinner! 

I usually advocate taking the high road but in this case that low road is just sooo tempting.

Post # 21
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

one more for call the embassy and let them know… will they be mad? probably.  Do they deserve it? Hell yes.  Is it a really really really bad thing if you get caught up in this?  YES!!!

Post # 22
80 posts
Worker bee

Calling the embassy is just about the stupidest thing you could do if you want to stay out of it. Not to mention your wedding invitation isn’t some holy grail they need to get a visa, it’s not required at all.

Your mom or any number of other people could just write a letter of invitation with or without your wedding as the reason for the visit.

Post # 23
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

agree with

View original reply
Ashtoreth . Just completely ignore the whole thing. I don’t see how you could get in trouble for something your relatives do. Put it out of your mind. You don’t even know if they will get a visa, and surely they could get one without a letter anyway. Simply remain firm in that you will not write anything or invite them, and if they turn up to your wedding they will not be allowed in. If you are contacted about it then obviously you’ll say you wrote nothing. Don’t waste any more energy worrying about this, you’ve not done anything wrong and you can’t prevent other people’s craziness.

Post # 26
1042 posts
Bumble bee

I beg to differ. For my sister’s wedding we had to send a formal wedding invitation and letter to our families to take to the embassy stating that we will be sponsoring them. The wedding invitation and letter could be the difference between being able to obtain a visa or not. The only other exception is if you have permanent assets like investments or a house and have your work state that you are working for them and intend to return after your vacation. A friend who works at the embassy told me their visa approval rate is less than half. One of our aunts overstayed her visa a few years back and wasn’t able to obtain a tourist visa despite having a wedding invitation and letter.

I would sort this out with your mom first, since she can technically sponsor them over (assuming she’s a citizen). Ultimately if they do come over (and use your wedding as an excuse) and overstay their visa (maybe even illegally work), you might be held liable and not be able to sponsor other people in the future. Ultimately I would report this to the embassy and be over with it.  I’d rather report it and if the embassy doesn’t do anything about it then it’s not on you anymore.

Edit: Things might have changed, but we sponsored over about 20+ family and relatives back in 2012.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by averria.
Post # 27
556 posts
Busy bee

I don’t understand why they need to prove they’re going to a wedding in order to get into the US?  Whenever I’ve been to the US on holiday, I’ve just said “it’s a holiday” and they give me a visa.  Is there a reason they need a specific event or purpose in order to be allowed in?

Post # 28
556 posts
Busy bee

And additionally – is your wedding really in 2019?  In which case, how can they possibly have arranged an interview for a visa?

Post # 29
490 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
forgotusername:  You keep saying this is silly but I don’t think it is at all.  First of all, you weren’t welcome at her wedding but she now thinks she is welcome at yours?  Ummm..NO!  And she kept your money!  Just Wow!  But most importantly, they’re trying to use you and involve you in fraud!!  Please talk to your lawyer.  Tell them everything that is going on.  They can advise you better than we can on how to cover yourself here but I do not think you are being silly by worrying about this.  Good luck Bee!

Post # 30
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Working in law, I say do not contact the Embassy or deal with immigration to stop this. If they haven’t asked anything from you at this point in order to come, I say let them come and do not worry about being involved. They can get in through other ways, not just with your wedding invite.

However, I would make sure that your family knows and everyone involved at the wedding that they are not invited to come to yours. Just because they are in town, that does not give them free access to your wedding. Be very firm about this. You may not be able to stop them from coming in (nor should you, if they want to travel they can travel, that’s their prerogative), but you can definitely exclude them from your day like they excluded you from theirs. The way they did it, was absolutely rude, wrong and completely uncatholic of them too. 

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