Post # 62
Wow! This is mostly irrelevant, but I really wanted to tell you that you are a great writer! Your post was long, but I honestly didn’t realise as I was completely hooked in by your every word.
There is nothing else I can say that hasn’t already been said. You will be fine. You are strong and brave and wise. It will take time, but in the end your life will turn out better than you ever could have imagined.
Stay strong. I wish you all the best.
Post # 63
You’re doing the best thing you can do for yourself. Good luck! You have so much time on your side, you’re doing a great thing by not wasting any on someone disrespectful!
Post # 64
Good Luck! You have your whole life ahead of you and made a great decision. You will be much happier in the long run.
Post # 65
Best wishes Amy. You are being very strong and logical about this situation in a time when you are really hurt and confused.
You do have a lot of time ahead of you to still do everything you want to. As you mentioned you lived the last two years of your life for him. Take some time to (journal, whatever) and discover what is really important to you. When I ended a bad break up, I vowed not to date anyone for 12 months. I wasn’t even going to think about it, I was going to thrive being single and being selfish (doing what I wanted to do). It was one of my best years. I had fun, I created some great girl friendships and even met some guys since the pressure to date wasn’t there. I got to do the things that were important to me and find who I was. I encourage you to do the same.
Post # 66
Good choice Amy! Wow what a heartbreaking experience. I have been exactly where you are. I lived with my boyfriend for 4 years and one day he came through the door and said “I’m leaving you for so and so at work. We’ve been kind of seeing each other and I just decided she is the one.” I was devastated and had to start my life all over at 22, which ruined all my hopes and dreams to be married at 24 and have a couple kids by 29.
It took me about a year to fully get over him. After a year, we did get back together briefly, but it wasn’t really the same and honestly…he annoyed me! So I kicked him to the curb, dated a few idiots in the mean time, and then I found my Fiance. He really is an amazing man and I am lucky to have him. Plus, he doesn’t annoy me at all! So, almost four years after the world ended I am now back on my feet, strong, and happy. It took a long time to get here, but after that first year I sure had a blast finding who I was and figuring out what I wanted. I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world.
So…I guess I should thank my ex for making me the woman I am today, but I don’t feel like giving him that honor. 😉
I know it hurts bad now and I know everyone is going to tell you it will get better, but right now you feel crummy and that happiness seems so far away. Cry, hug your parents, watch your favorite movies, and cry some more. All that will make you a stronger woman. And honestly you’ve already shown tremendous strength. I think if you get any stronger you will become President Amy! (((HUGS)))
Post # 67
I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. I missed your original post, but went back to read it. I’m glad that you’re comfortable with the choice you’ve made. It’s going to hurt for a really long time after this, but day by day, it will slowly become easier.
You 100% deserve a man who is so in love with you that you don’t have to worry about him going to a party alone and hooking up with some other girl. And there ARE men out there like that – look at all of the examples you gave yourself! You have a wonderful father who is a great example of a faithful man to his wife, and you’ll be able to find that too. Don’t sell yourself short – you have so much to give! One day, you’re going to look back at this time in your life and be thankful that this happened now rather than after you were married.
I wish you all the luck in your time healing and hope you enjoy your life with your friends and family!
Post # 68
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
It takes a truly strong person to be able to pick themselves up after something like this. I admire your honesty, and just by reading your posts I am confident that you’ll be successful in life and love. Very smart, girl–good for you for making the right decision!
Post # 69
I had to skim the end of your post, because by that point I already wanted to cry…you are SO STRONG! And a great writer. And young, and smart, and moving in the right direction, and have what sounds like a great and supportive family. Don’t be afraid to rely on that network of great family and friends. Don’t be afraid to need a shoulder to cry on, to ear an ear to hear your story, or just someone to sit with on days that have/had significance to you and your ex.
You are making the right choice. It’s certainly not an easy one, but it is the right one. You’re right in this sort of dichotomy between “love” being selfless and selfish – but I don’t think that real love should make you make that choice, or put anyone “first”. It should be about totally supporting each other, and about both of you bringing each other up and forward – broken trust can’t do that. No one should ever settle, and I’m glad to see that you are not.
Take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to take plenty of “you” time. Take yourself on a mini-vacation and relax a bit. Spend time with your family and friends. Heal.
Post # 70
I’m at a loss for words (for once!) because all the other ladies have already said everything I want to say to you. You. Are. Amazing. Don’t ever forget that. You stood up for yourself and did what was best for YOU. Not for him. Not for your parents. Not for anyone else. YOU. That is so brave. Not many of us have the courage to do that. You are going to continue to move through life and dazzle everyone around you I’m sure. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing. You’re going to have bad days, but you have an amazing family around you and they’ll help you through it. Keep going sweetie, keep going. We’ll miss you around here, come back if and when you feel up to it.((hugs from the hive))
Post # 71
Good for you! Based on what you said and how you are feeling, I think you did the right thing. Just remember, “this too shall pass.”
Post # 72
I am so proud of you! I didnt want to post the other day because of the simple fact I WAS IN YOUR SHOES once upon a time. It hurt and some what brought back those thoughts of the night I “walked in” on my ex cheating. But I got through it and nothing anyone said helped but I got through it and focused on me before worrying about being with someone else. Its awesome you chose to get support from us and I wish you the best of luck. I honestly do. You seem alot braver than I was before. But it does get better. Now I am married and happier than I could have ever been and my ex… Single and unhappy.
Post # 73
- Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception
This totally had me all teary eyed just reading it. You are an amazingly strong woman and it takes a strong woman to walk away from someone they love to make themselves better. You deserve the best and he just wasn’t it. It might not be today or tomorrow, but I promise you that it does get easier. Seriously, it does. I’ve been there.
Post # 74
thank you for sharing such an intimate story with us and (HUGGSSSS) to you for being so brave in such a trying time.
you will heal in time and i’m certain you’ve made the right decision for yourself!
live and love your life. u deserve the best!
Post # 75
you sound like you’ve got a really good head on your shoulders, i wish you all the best!
Post # 76
So sorry what you’ve just gone through. It sounds like you made the best decision and even though it sucks right now, it will get better and one day you will find your future husband. You deserve better and I’m so glad you realized that and are moving on!!!