(Closed) *UPDATE* “He cheated on me LAST WEEKEND”

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010 - Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House

You have a good head on your shoulders dear – so glad you’re with family and have so much support.  All of our best to you as you begin to write new chapters in your life.

Post # 78
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you!! You’re allowed to be sad that this chapter is ending. I’m sure there was soo much good in your relationship…lots of good memories that you’ll always treasure. It may be sad to think about that stuff right now, but all in good time you’ll be able to look back and SMILE about it! All he will be is a good memory of your young adulthood. Trust me on this one…one day you’re going to wake up and NOT BE SAD! It will be such a great day when that happens! …and it will! Trust me! Give it time!

Just focus on YOU right now! And when the time is right, your perfect man will find you! He’s on his way…just hold out and he’ll find you!! Have faith in yourself and the world. You’re an intelligent, beautiful soul! You deserve amazing things in life…and ending this relationship is the first step to finding those amazing things!

One piece of advice from someone who has been in your shoes…..don’t try to move on too quickly. I mean, don’t go looking to get into another relationship right away. Just take time for YOU and only when you’re completely over that A-hole is when things will fall into place!

Best wishes, and your friends on weddingbee are ALWAYS here for you (engaged or not!!!!)

Post # 79
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Just wanted to chime in and say good for you. And I’ll agree with J’adore – you’re a great writer. I think that being with your very supportive family will help you through, and when you start thinking job stuff and find a job? You’ll be feeling better by leaps and bounds, and bounce back quicker than you probably think right now.

I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much about the situation, and choosing to have sex with him – this is in no way a reflection of you. Your ex was lucky to have you, and is probably thinking the same thing over and over and over in his head, and he should be.

Post # 80
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

{{hug}}

Post # 81
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

YOu are sooooo super strong and will get stronger and stronger! you are in my thoughts and you WILL find someone BETTER! best wishes!

Post # 82
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think  you’re making the right decision.  Broken trust is next to impossible to regain.  Take care fo yourself, give yourself time to grieve, and best of luck with everything.  It might be a rocky road, but you’re wise to make yourself the priority.

Post # 83
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

Amy-

You are right.  The right man WILL come along.  Kudos to you for taking care of YOU – it is a must!  Hang in there & feel free to pop in on the boards if you need anything!

Post # 84
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

you are a strong and beautiful girl!  much love to you.

Post # 85
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009 - Small church ceremony with mountain-view log cabin reception

You have such strength and you will most certainly find a man who will be honest with you and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Chin up:)

Post # 86
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wishing you healing, love and happiness.  You will love again, trust me.  You have amazing strength and dignity and I applaud you.

Hugs!

Post # 87
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am truly touched by how strong u r being about this.  Yo are honest about how much it hurts yet u know there are better days to come….u deserve better than a man who is too weak like that…u r  as strong as ur weakest pt and that pt in him makes it almost impossible to trust him..i am glad he showed that side of him before u got married..and now u can live for urself until u find ur true soul mate! ..more hug from me sent ur way !!

Post # 88
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

Amy-

I am so happy that you decided it’s time to move on; it takes a strong woman to do so. No woman deserves to be treated the way your ex did. Much luck in the future!  ::HUGS::

Post # 89
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

So strong in such a hard time, very admirable! Things will get easier and soon enough you won’t be scared anymore and ay even be thankful for the scars for they will lead you to a better man 🙂 Best of luck to you!

Post # 90
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yay for you for realizing that you deserve better and for making such a difficult decision!  I have faith that with your strength will help attract a man who is much more deserving of you!  I hope you’ll still pop in from time to time just to say hello and please let us know if you need anything!

Post # 91
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@starstruck:

I am blown away by your post.  At 23, you really are dealing with this in a mature and amazingly self-aware way.  I think you should be very proud of yourself and know that you have a wonderful head on your shoulders.

I also teared up at your Dad/Father’s day story – it is a blessing to have a family that loves and supports you so well.

I was once, in my 20s, ready to marry the man of my dreams.  We had plans to move in together and he had said 100 times he wanted me to be his wife. He showed me the Church he wanted us to marry in and told me that we’d be enagaged by March of the following year.  I packed up my apartment, told my landlords I was leaving, and was all set to move when he suddenly told me it was over (there was someone else – I didn’t know until later). To say I was blown away is an understatement.  But this isn’t about me – it is about you.  What I want you to know is that I was so utterly destroyed by this that it took me years to get to the place your head seems to be.  And that I would have days of incredible strength and self-love and days of incredible self-pity, pain, and desperation for him.  But I got through it and no matter what happens in the days, weeks and months ahead, you will too.

I am now in my 30s and a such a different person than I was in my twenties. I would never think it at the time, but you really do grow and develop so much in these years.  The woman I am now would never be with the man that he was – for so many more reasons than what happened. It just took me a lot of hindsight to realize I wasn’t even that happy with him really, I just was caught up in everything and thought that was what it was supposed to feel like.

I just got married about 6 weeks ago and am happier than I could ever have dreamed.  You will someday find someone (this is not a cliche!) who would never ever ever do what your ex did to you and will treat you like a treasure. You absolutely deserve this and I send to you my best wishes for the strength and self-assurance to be true to yourself and take care of yourself.  Enjoy being alone and this time of self-discovery, which will make the love you find again someday that much sweeter and enjoyable.

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