- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
This is an update to my previous post here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/cutting-contact-with-abusive-mother-nwr#axzz2g8ZJ58ei
I just had the conversation with my mother today and cut off all contact with her. It could not have gone any better. I am totally floored by how well it went.
I went through the first set of bullet points that I laid out in my previous post, explaining the lasting impact that my horrible childhood has on me today, and why it has become even harder for me to deal with since I became a mom. I said that for my mental health, and in order for me to be the best mom to my daughter, I cannot have any contact with her anymore.
She accepted it completely. She said that even though she was very surprised and never imagined that I would do this, she knows that I was still negatively affected by the things she and my father did. She said that she wishes she could go back and change it, but she also thinks she did the best she could based on the resources and cultural expectations she had at the time. Bottom line, I need to do whatever I need to do to take care of my family, and she’ll accept it. She even said that I shouldn’t feel any guilt about hurting her by cutting her off, that it’s her responsibility to deal with her hurt feelings. This shows just how much she’s changed since I grew up and left her home.
I feel free. I am so glad I did this. I’ve been wanting to do this and dreading it for 10 years, and the conversation only took 10 minutes, and now it’s done. Now I feel really free to move forward in my life without being weighed down by the past.