(Closed) UPDATE!!! I finally left!!!

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee

veryveryunhappy :  good for you bee! Stay strong and lean on your family and friends to help you get through this hard time. I’ve been there and I know how hard it is to leave so congrats on getting out. Now just focus on healing yourself and realizing your self worth and how amazing you are again. 

lifeisbeeutiful :  your comment is incredibly insensitive and unhelpful. I’m going to venture that you’ve been fortunate enough to have never have been in an abusive situation before. Abuse is incredibly complex, especially from someone who claims to love you. It’s easy for us to look in from the outside and see how wrong the situation is and how the OP deserves so much more- but when you’re in it, it’s not. Like another poster has mentioned, the amount of manipulation and control the abuser has exercised over the victim is abundant. While it may not be hard to physically leave (sometimes it can be with physical abuse as well), it can be incredibly hard financially, mentally, emotionally, etc.  I pray that you never have to experience abuse. In the meantime, please refrain from being judgemental towards the victim here- it’s counterproductive and wrong. Abuse is never ever ever the victim’s fault.

Post # 17
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Stay strong and positive, and great job on passing those exams with all you had going on, that is what will get you out of this for good! Change your mailing address and take your name off any accounts you share with him. 

Post # 18
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee

veryveryunhappy :  I second the 2am list, it’s a wonderful piece of advice! Glad to see you’re already doing it!

Post # 19
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I’m sorry you are going through this, and I applaud you for your strength! You got this Bee *hug*

Post # 20
Member
3197 posts
Sugar bee

Please get yourself a good attorney. I can’t stress this enough.

Post # 21
Member
1597 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Well done on getting out, it’s incredibly hard to do. Stay brave.

When you need to go back to the house, take someone with you even if he says he won’t be home. If you ever need to meet with him make it with lawyers present or in a public place. 

Post # 22
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

veryveryunhappy :  

Pat yourself on the back for finally leaving. Many women would not be able to take that courageous step. It makes sense that you’re feeling vulnerable and emotionally burnt out right now-you just survived a horrible ordeal. Be patient with yourself and spend some time seeing a therapist. Your obvious strength will carry you through the pain and you will come out on the other side. 

Post # 23
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

I hope you never went back. Please give another 6 month update!

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