- 8 years ago
I’m no longer on a break with bf we are back together, have been for a couple of days now. We’ve been seeing less of each other though, which in my opinion is good. I haven’t been to his house and won’t be for awhile because I don’t want to (not only to spend less time with him but the thing with his parents really bothered me and I don’t want to see them anytime soon).
I found out yesterday that another couple I know got engaged, both are bf’s age and have been dating for less time than we have. It bugged me slightly but it’s whatever. I don’t really care about engagement/marriage with bf anymore. After this fight I’m starting to think differently. Before I felt like he doesn’t want to marry me because I must not be good enough for him. Now I’m starting to think maybe he’s not good enough for me. I’m starting to throw myself into my projects/things I need to do and not thinking about him as much.
I’m starting to read “Why Men Marry Bitches” and liking it so far. Somehow in the course of our relationship I feel like I lost my bitch-ness so I’m trying to get that back. I’m going to do what I want and not have my life revolve around “why don’t you want to marry me?” I think this fight was the kick in the ass I needed. I also found out today bf somehow now has $2000 in savings…. made me wonder, but I’m not getting my hopes up and will forget he even said that. I don’t know why but I’ve even considered saying no to him if he proposes.
But so far with everything he calls/texts me when he didn’t used to do it alot before. And he actually wants to come to my house instead of me going to his house like we usually used to. That’s pretty much it for now. Hopefully everything keeps going ok. I’m trying to make plans to visit my friend at her college in NYC, I just put in a job application, and I’m trying to keep up my grades since my last semester of college is more than half over.