(Closed) *Update* Mom kicking me out of my room so her bf can spend the night

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

View original reply
@echolove:  I would be FURIOUS with my Fiance if he treated me the way yours is treating you! WTF??? Letting you sleep in YOUR CAR?? Does he realize how effing dangerous that is? 

I don’t get why you’re so worried about leaning on this man when he’s going to be your husband! You should be able to depend on him and now you’re officially 12 days past the time he said you’d be in an apartment. This is CRAP.

I would not marry someone like that.

Post # 18
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
@carolinabelle:  +1.  This.

View original reply
@echolove:  I would not marry someone who isn’t concerned that I was sleeping motels and/or cars.  That’s insane!  I think you should re-evaluate moving in with this man and having a future with him.

Post # 19
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t mean to dip in, but it sounds like OP’s Fiance is doing the best he can to help her. He lives with his parents and can’t just say OP is going to stay here whether you like it or not. It doesn’t  sound like either of them can afford a nice hotel for OP either which isn’t really her FI’s fault as it sounds like he’s the one saving up and paying for this apartment and probably doesn’t have much/any spare money beside that.

If he’s calling and checking with the manager of the apartment I think he’s doing the best he can. With poor/bad credit and I’m assuming not a lot of income between the two of you it would be hard to find a place.

The only thing that would worry me is that things may have fallen through and he just isn’t telling you because of your state of mind.

Post # 21
Member
3230 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
@echolove:  Again I suggest looking at Craigslist for your area. Many sublets or shared rooms don’t require a deposit. Maybe right now is not the best time for y’all to be living together? 

Did you sign any sort of contract or agreement with the woman before you handed over $200?

Post # 22
Member
11375 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

 just wanted to add that while people like to think the truth is in the middle, sometimes that’s not accurate and it isn’t helpful when someone is being abused or dealing with the mentally ill, as OPs mother seems to be.

OP I know your mom wants you to lie to your dad to protect her, but i think it’s high time you tell your father the danger you are in. this is not wht he is paying for. 

Also, you need to get in the same page with Fiance. I know you feel like its not your money, but if he loves and cherishes you, he wants to protect you. This is not just your problem. 

I am so sorry you’re going through this. 

Post # 23
Member
467 posts
Helper bee

I was in a (somewhat) similar situation so I can relate.  I was also homeless after our apartment flooded during Sandy and needed to find a place ASAP.  My SO was homeless too, as we lived together.  However, despite this, he was NOT very good about helping me find or follow up with an apartment.  Honestly, he is the bread winner and makes A LOT more money than me, so we were basically looking to spend HIS money on our new place.  I was a law student and had nothing budgeted for a major move and all new furniture.  I felt super awkward about spending what I considered to be his money.  

In the end, I ended up contacting all the brokers and dealing with redecorating the apartment (most of our furniture was ruined and we lacked essentials).  I was essentially spending his money, but he appreciated my assitance.  He just isn’t good at dealing with that kind of stuff.  He didn’t feel like I was spending his money, he felt like I was saving him from a horrible chore.  Plus, he hates the phone and would never follow up with realators.  I ended up picking out all new furniture with his money at his request, and he actually appreicated it.  (He would literally come up to me and say, I can’t stand not having a dining table, can you pick one out?)  It just wasn’t his cup tea, and I kind of enjoyed dealing with the realators and shopping.  

Don’t feel too bad because you are spending his money.  You and your Fiance are looking to spend the rest of your lives together, and part of that is sometimes sharing money.  You guys are a team and its all about giving and taking emotionally, physically and, sometimes, financially.  Don’t be afraid to take control of the situation.  Your homelss for god’s sake!  I know how horrible that feeling is.  

Post # 24
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

why dont you, your Fiance, Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law talk about you staying in their house? with the 4 of yyou present, so you will all get to an agreement. the 4 of you have to be present so no one blames it on another person.

I would not let my FDIL live in her car, much less if her mother was being abusive a total c*nt (no offense).

Edit: also, im just wondering, if your mom wanted his bf to stay in her house, why didnt he stay in her bedroom? .-. just askin’

Post # 25
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@echolove:  It really concerns me that your Fiance is not really caring about your welfare. He says hes on top of this apartment… but hes clearly not… HE should be doing EVERYTHING in his power to make sure you have a place to stay especially since there was an apartment in the mix. 

I have read the last couple posts about this.. and i read that your dad is in the picture but renting a room from his brother(?) who lives with your grandparents.. do they have ANY room for you to crash until this gets sorted out? What about friends?

 

Post # 26
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’re in Los Angeles, right? What area? (or PM me) – when we were trying to get my SIL to move out of our apartment, we looked a lot on craigslist and there are places to stay that are kind of like hostels, that have several bunk beds in each room, but they seem clean.  It would at least be a real bed, and they’re a cheap temporary solution.

Post # 28
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@echolove:  Ahhh I’m so glad to hear your update.  Keep us posted! *hugs*

Post # 29
Member
9853 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

View original reply
@echolove:  that’s a great update, I love Disneyland too, will be there in two weeks! It will be good for you to have your own place again 🙂

Post # 30
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@echolove:  I’m on my phone and its hard to read all the posts so I’m sorry if you’ve been asked this before but why doesn’t you mums bf sleep in her room with her?? I hope you and your Fiance can get into you’re new house soon!! 

Post # 31
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@echolove:  why isn’t your mum’s boyfriend sleeping in HER bed? This seems extremely strange.

 

The topic ‘*Update* Mom kicking me out of my room so her bf can spend the night’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors