- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Also, my personality of being honest, nice and caring has back fired so many times in my life. It’s sad that trying to be a good, nice person causes other people to take advantage of that. And I all started when I was 6yrs old. I was molested by a neighbor and his sister (Sick family, I know). I never told anyone until I was 25 when I had a major meltdown in why I’m so mentally f*d up in my life. later in life, I have been raped, sexually harassed at work and screwed over by friends that I have helped. Those are the consequences I get for being a nice person??? And still I hate to be a bitch to people, but I do limit myself of how trusting I can be to someone else. Funny thing is that I always thought it was my fault. I was embarrassed, ashamed and felt loess than dirt. But I never let that take over my life. I never done drugs, still went to school, got good grades and lived a relatively “normal” life as other people seen it. I’ve learn to suppress my emotion, which is the worst thing you can do. And I’m going through it now. My emotional and mental state is all out of wAck. Lol. But I’m still doing the best I can do.
I have never asked for help from anyone before. I’ve always been on my own. Even with my ex, I paid my own bills and half of the household. I’ve only asked my mom for a place to live when I left him. That’s the only help I ever asked for. I will go 100% broke, eating dirt if I had too, before asking for help. But since I’ve been with my Fiance, he does nothing but force me, lol, to lean on him and he wants to take care of me. And believe me, he’s doing the best he can do, which is more than anyone has done for me.