(Closed) UPDATE: My fiance was arrested today…what do I do?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so glad to see this update. I’m also glad that he had a pretty good explanation. Seriously, who hasn’t wanted to just walk out of a store instead of wait in a never-ending line.

Post # 4
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I do not condone stealing at all and I think your Fiance did a majorly stupid thing.  However, what a ridiculous waste of time and resources on  the part of the store and the police to put the guy IN JAIL for stealing a candy bar.  It makes me mad when people die because the police couldn’t get there in time and meanwhile they are putting people in jail for stealing a 1 dollar item.  

Post # 5
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Lt.Columbo:  agreed. I dont understand why they wouldve done this. I’m sure your Fiance had a dollar to spare on him and he couldve just paid for it and moved on his merry way.

Post # 6
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Sorry, but I’m getting hung up on your bit about him being in jail w/ other offenders. What’s to be expected? He committed a crime- they aren’t going to house him at a bed & breakfast.

 

 

Post # 8
Member
12955 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s ridiculous that they arrested him and put him in jail for a $1 candy bar, but I do want to point out a few things.  (1) Standard procedure for arrests is being handcuffed.  It doesn’t matter if he cooperates or not; the officers have a duty to protect themselves from any unknown situation and that protection entails handcuffing someone.  and (2) I’m not a lawyer, but I’m fairly certain that if charges were filed against him, it’ll be on his record regardless of what he said unless a judge dismisses the charges.  However, if he was never charged in the first place (which is likely since it was only a $1 item), it wouldn’t be on his record.

And finally, if the jail cell was so bad, why didn’t he just call you to have him bailed out?  I know in a previous post you said he wanted to stay because he felt guilty, but if he was being beat up… why wouldn’t he just leave? I guess I just don’t get it.

Post # 9
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Nope, I wouldn’t feel that way. My husband would not disgrace himself or me in such a way. Stealing is stealing- whether it’s $1 or $1,000. It’s all the same. Law enforcement has discretion but it sounds like the store wanted to press charges. Excellent call.

Post # 10
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

wow, what a nasty situation! I’m glad it got worked out, but I’m surprised the store went through that much trouble over $1 candy bar. Seems they’d have been better off getting the dollar from him and using the cops as a threat.

@MrsStrz:  No, but they don’t put rapists and murderers at the jail where Martha Stewart was either. Usually there is some consideration for hi-risk/lo-risk. But I bet it was a pretty good wake-up call to not make a stupid decision to land yourself there in the future.

Everyone makes dumb mistakes at some point in their life – my cousin’s Darling Husband once sped off from the cops (he was like 19) instead of pulling over. He’s a great guy, never in trouble, and said he just panicked and didn’t know what to do. He had to go through a whole trial thing and it turned out ok, but it was a very scary experience for my cousin and her then-BF.

Post # 11
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@MrsStrz:  wow, really? Yes, it’s still stealing, but a candy bar is not the equivalent of robbing a bank. I hope your husband never makes a mistake or bad judgement call in the next 40+ years.

Post # 12
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@hisgoosiegirl:  It’s pretty black and white. There are felonies and misdemeanors (obviously this is a misd) and he has broken a law. There isn’t some clause or exception for candy bars.

Furthermore, making “a mistake or bad judgment call” doesn’t always mean breaking the law. We are all human but society has consequences for this kind of behavior (stealing).

 

Post # 13
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@MrsStrz:  Have you or your husband ever sped, drank underage, downloaded pirated music? Done marijuana? Because those are all probably more serious violations than stealing a candy bar.

Post # 14
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Whoever hasn’t done anything wrong can judge this man first. Piracy is one type of stealing and if you’re wearing a fake gucci bag that makes you no better than a person who steals a candy bar. Now….. that being said I think you are doing the right thing standing by your man’s side. It is ridiculous that we spend our resources in garbage like this. This would all be fixed with an apology and paying for the candy. No jail, no sentence no nothing. I find it troubling that Casey Anthony and OJ get to roam around free and people who steal a $1 dollar candy bar go to jail. How messed up is our system?

Post # 15
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour

@MrsStrz:  Wow. well with your ‘holier than thou’ ‘no forgiveness for mistakes’ policy – I sure do hope your hubby remains perfect in every way.

Post # 16
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Well I think after that horrible experience he would have well and truly learned his lesson! I’m glad it was a one off thing and he isn’t a kleptomaniac. It does seem like a massive waste of police resources having him arrested. When I worked at a supermarket, we would always say to shoplifters something like ‘excuse me sir, I think you may have forgotten to pay for (item)’ If they came in and paid then that was that. But we kept an eye on them during future visits. If they denied having the item or refused to give it back or refused to pay, then we’d have to call the cops. Seems like this store could have done something similar.

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