(Closed) UPDATE NEWS: Boyfriend’s a Jerk – Or Maybe I am

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

oh man… when I read through you other post I had a feeling this might happen… =(

Post # 4
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well, now he knows how NOT to surprise you!!! Jesus.

Post # 5
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

And I was the one who insisted it wasn’t a proposal. ::FACEPALM::

 

Well, I’m happy for you. Really. 🙂 But you are right. Any surprise opportunities are permanently revoked. Cause that? That was not cool.

Post # 6
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@dragonlover: I dont know how I would feel about this exactly…I mean the whole FLorida thing? And how he acted tonight…I hope he really gets in his head all those things he did wrong, and maybe you two should talk about your future a bit more before you get married…honestly, I would be cautious still, but either way, Congrats.

Post # 7
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@dragonlover: what a day! I am happy it turned around for you!

Post # 8
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I read the last post, but I’m not sure if I caught everything about Florida. All I can say, though, is don’t beat yourself up about it. Some of us are just bad with surprises. You were very legitimately concerned about his plans. Next time he should at least make concrete plans to see you when he tries again and just switch up the events. 

Post # 9
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@jo.lee: He moved to Florida without telling her while they were together…yeah

Post # 10
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

*sigh* Oooo k. 

How messy. Not sure what to say without prattling on and on and on.

Well, that’s nice he wanted to propose tonight. That’s sweet he wanted to surprise you.

So there, now you know he is serious and is going to be proposing, all though who knows when now.

Before he does propose, take a GOOD look at your relationship and give it a thorough review. 

I say this because all the ladies who were telling you to dump your boyfriend weren’t telling you to do so lightly OR because of just simply the birthday issue.

Fact of the matter is, he was being a douche muffin. Are you ok with a guy who is so emotionally/mentally underdeveloped that he acts like this in these sorts of situations?

We bees do NOT have the full story of your relationship, but if I remember correctly, what you have told us makes us thing you should end this.

Someone please expand upon this because I am having a hard time putting it into words.

Post # 12
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Tunacupcakes: I feel the same way…a man worth marrying doesnt propose to you through a fit of tears and by ignoring you on your birthday, he doesnt move away while you are in a relationship and NOT tell you, he doesnt make you feel like his passtimes are more important than you two moving forward together, he doesnt make it sound like to his friends hes moving in with you when really theres still an actual chance he might move to Florida still, he doesnt make his mother deal with you because he cant do it himself, and most of all

A man worth marrying has enough self awareness to want to make sure you NEVER doubt how much he want to be with you, be honest with you, and treats you well, by ACTING like it, and not acting like a child.

Post # 13
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@jo.lee: yeah, I also summed up all the rest of the stuff she talked about in her other post in my last post here

Post # 15
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Bellanouva: Good points, but ultimately she needs to think this over and decide whats best for herself. Hopefully she has sometime until he decides to propose. She was ready to leave him at some point today…however, he was acting different and she said that their relationship had been good up until the past few weeks (minus Florida) soo…I think its kind of hard to judge.

but nothing is really jumping out at me that says, “marry him!!! he’s an great guy!”… I keep going back and forth with the pro’s and the con’s on this one. Another pro, in my opinion, is that men that I’ve known never know what to do for their girlfriends/fiance’s/wife’s birthday

Post # 16
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Heatherloveskenny: Yes, of course she should do whats best for herself, but at the same time its not as simple as waving off a guy’s inability to know what to get for their gf, as opposed to making it look like he totally forgot/didnt care. Those are two different things. Sometimes I feel like we will make up any excuse to excuse a guy…o well guys arent that smart, or guys forget things, or guys dont really care about birthdays, or etc. I mean men are not infantile and need everything fed to them…I surely dont have to do that with my SO..in fact birthdays and annis are at times MORE important to him than they are to me, if you see how incredibly moved he is by them. Just because men are different from us, doesnt mean they are stupid, or that a lack of knowing something excuses their behaviour…or justifies their behaviour either. I mean that gives them too little credit, as well as lowers our expectations of them…most of which are actually common decency, and are not unreasonable.

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