Post # 1
The boyfriend intended to propose. I screwed it up. I know this. I feel – I don’t know, you be the judge?
So my girlfriend, who works about 70 hours a week like I do, dropped verything to come take me out to dinner. About 5 minutes before she arrived, the boyfriend showed up apologizing profusely, and when he saw I was crying – silent. He never realized I so upset and started cryin while apologizing for makign me so upset.
We, three of us, went out for dinner – the two fo them split the bill, and we had a great time.
As the night ended, he pulled my girlfriend aside to show her a picture on his cellphone. He flashed it – its a picture of his ahnd (he has a wrist tattoo, so it obvious) holding a diamond engagement ring.
They “exchanged numbers” as he quietly told her tonight was ruined, he wanted her help this weekend – where her and I are working the event goether.
He accidentally flashed the picture of the ring my direction. He’s be embarrassed if he knew.
Bu the was kvetching to her that tonight was supposed to be a surprise. he didn’t knwo I was goign to try to schedule somethign to do on my own – being he hadn’t confirmed any plans with me.
I don’ tknow how to feel at this point…
He did have a surprise, I fucked ti up because I wanted to make sure I got out to ceelbrate my birthday.
He’s revoked from any further surprises.
Post # 3
oh man… when I read through you other post I had a feeling this might happen… =(
Post # 4
Well, now he knows how NOT to surprise you!!! Jesus.
Post # 5
And I was the one who insisted it wasn’t a proposal. ::FACEPALM::
Well, I’m happy for you. Really. 🙂 But you are right. Any surprise opportunities are permanently revoked. Cause that? That was not cool.
Post # 6
@dragonlover: I dont know how I would feel about this exactly…I mean the whole FLorida thing? And how he acted tonight…I hope he really gets in his head all those things he did wrong, and maybe you two should talk about your future a bit more before you get married…honestly, I would be cautious still, but either way, Congrats.
Post # 7
@dragonlover: what a day! I am happy it turned around for you!
Post # 8
I read the last post, but I’m not sure if I caught everything about Florida. All I can say, though, is don’t beat yourself up about it. Some of us are just bad with surprises. You were very legitimately concerned about his plans. Next time he should at least make concrete plans to see you when he tries again and just switch up the events.
Post # 9
@jo.lee: He moved to Florida without telling her while they were together…yeah
Post # 10
*sigh* Oooo k.
How messy. Not sure what to say without prattling on and on and on.
Well, that’s nice he wanted to propose tonight. That’s sweet he wanted to surprise you.
So there, now you know he is serious and is going to be proposing, all though who knows when now.
Before he does propose, take a GOOD look at your relationship and give it a thorough review.
I say this because all the ladies who were telling you to dump your boyfriend weren’t telling you to do so lightly OR because of just simply the birthday issue.
Fact of the matter is, he was being a douche muffin. Are you ok with a guy who is so emotionally/mentally underdeveloped that he acts like this in these sorts of situations?
We bees do NOT have the full story of your relationship, but if I remember correctly, what you have told us makes us thing you should end this.
Someone please expand upon this because I am having a hard time putting it into words.
Post # 12
@Tunacupcakes: I feel the same way…a man worth marrying doesnt propose to you through a fit of tears and by ignoring you on your birthday, he doesnt move away while you are in a relationship and NOT tell you, he doesnt make you feel like his passtimes are more important than you two moving forward together, he doesnt make it sound like to his friends hes moving in with you when really theres still an actual chance he might move to Florida still, he doesnt make his mother deal with you because he cant do it himself, and most of all
A man worth marrying has enough self awareness to want to make sure you NEVER doubt how much he want to be with you, be honest with you, and treats you well, by ACTING like it, and not acting like a child.
Post # 13
@jo.lee: yeah, I also summed up all the rest of the stuff she talked about in her other post in my last post here
Post # 15
@Bellanouva: Good points, but ultimately she needs to think this over and decide whats best for herself. Hopefully she has sometime until he decides to propose. She was ready to leave him at some point today…however, he was acting different and she said that their relationship had been good up until the past few weeks (minus Florida) soo…I think its kind of hard to judge.
but nothing is really jumping out at me that says, “marry him!!! he’s an great guy!”… I keep going back and forth with the pro’s and the con’s on this one. Another pro, in my opinion, is that men that I’ve known never know what to do for their girlfriends/fiance’s/wife’s birthday
Post # 16
@Heatherloveskenny: Yes, of course she should do whats best for herself, but at the same time its not as simple as waving off a guy’s inability to know what to get for their gf, as opposed to making it look like he totally forgot/didnt care. Those are two different things. Sometimes I feel like we will make up any excuse to excuse a guy…o well guys arent that smart, or guys forget things, or guys dont really care about birthdays, or etc. I mean men are not infantile and need everything fed to them…I surely dont have to do that with my SO..in fact birthdays and annis are at times MORE important to him than they are to me, if you see how incredibly moved he is by them. Just because men are different from us, doesnt mean they are stupid, or that a lack of knowing something excuses their behaviour…or justifies their behaviour either. I mean that gives them too little credit, as well as lowers our expectations of them…most of which are actually common decency, and are not unreasonable.