Can I chime in again, OP?
I walked away from my laptop and came back to this post. I walked away bc of you. I walked away bc I sincerely was trying to imagine your perspective and point of view. I was putting myself in your shoes.
Here’s what I concluded my thoughts with: You love him, yes. obviously, right?
But youre also very hurt and very very lost. You fear being away from him and not being able to think of his face and know that he is yours anymore. This is the part where you have to reallly really listen, though….you came onto this boards. I know some or most may come out of boredom, or to check out the next pretty ring, or give random advice….but you came on here looking for something. Let me tell you, that it can be either a VERY good thing or a VERY bad thing.
Taking advice, encouragement, motivations and having all those reasons justified in moving forward, can REALLY help you.. These are support boards. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU. Most commenters may sound straightforward, but sometimes it takes a different way to talk to someone about something for that person to really really understand what theyre doing with their own life, and to CHANGE it to how they want their life to be.
BUT, coming on here (which you cant undo now), and reading advice and not taking action, will leave you worse off. WHY? bc we’ve confirmed what you already know deep down inside. You came here for some sort of help, to vent, and get some answers. Youre in a serios rut. You know you want to leave, yet you also dont feel strong enough to leave yet.
Reading what we say but still ignoring us and staying with “10 year”, youre going to be a lot more miserable, resentful, hurt, and you may just settle for it as thats your life. Youre basically seeing into your future and denying what you know is inevitable if you just meander back with him.
Youll be resentful. Youll be unsatisfied, therell be a TON of ‘What If’s’, and maybe youll think back to that time you posted on these boards, remembering that in some shape or form, we were a part of your life, and you will realize that we are no longer there bc life goes on, you stayed with the guy, theres no good update, so you dont update, and youll feel that deep sense of regret, but by then, itll be way too late to go back, bc by then, itll have been another 10 years, and many of us may not even be on the boards anymore.
Just please, spare yourself all of that. We are here for you, here is your chance to change what you think is your inevitable future.
Many hugs, but many more nudges. xoxo