Post # 1
After talking to my mother, fiance, brother, and best friend about the fight I had with one of my oldest friends I decided to message her via Facebook.
My mother told me if I decided to mend the friendship to not let too much time pass because once it’s reached a certain point of not speaking it becomes too late. Another friend had told me it was too much of an important friendship to just let go.
So, two weeks passed by. I thought it had been enough time for us both to cool off.
Knowing her, I knew I was never going to get the apology I wanted. She’s a very stubborn person and I knew she would never see her fault in the situation.
I decided that even though I felt like I had done nothing wrong in the siutation, I should reach out first. A part of me was still bothered beacause I felt like it was her place to be the one to contact me, but I knew that would never happen.
I sent her a Facebook message. Essentially it said that we have been friends for so long that I’d hate for our fight to be the last memory we had of each other. That I felt like there was no point in rehashing the details of the fight because it would just end up being a situation where we agreed to disagree about what happened. But that I still cared about her and wish nothing but the best for her. And that if she ever needed to talk I’m always here for her.
She read it and never responded.
To be honest, I’m suprised. I thought she would respond. But now at least I know I made the effort and am not to blame in our friendship ending. If she wants to be stubborn enough to let a 15 year friendship end, so be it.
Post # 3
@petalpetal: How long ago did she read it? Sometimes I take a while to respond when I don’t know what to say.
Post # 4
How long ago did you send it? Maybe she is thinking about her response? Can I ask why you didn’t actually call her and instead chose a FB message?
Post # 5
In this case then she’s an idiot. You reached out to her even though she was in the wrong. If she’s a stubborn person she probably sees it as you admitting it your fault by reaching out first, which is immature. Just be glad that you don’t have her in your life anymore.
If I knew I was in the wrong but for some reason I was too proud to admit it, and then the person reached out to me, I’d be happy.
How do you feel now that it’s officially over?
Post # 6
I sent the message to her yesterday. She read it yesterday.
The reason I didn’t call her is because 1. I knew for a fact she wouldn’t answer. And 2. I wanted to see that she read it and when she read it. Facebook allows me to see when exactly she read it. I knew there was a chance if I did call her that it would turn into an argument, so I decided to be choosy with my words in a message.
I honeslty feel sad and relieved at the same time. Sad because I never thought it would end this way. And relieved because I feel like I did my part. And that I was a much better friend than she ever was to me, so now that’s over with. I really am sad that I won’t be in contact with her family though. I do really love them, but know they won’t want to be in contact with me anymore because they won’t want to be caught in the middle. I know she’d yell at them for that if they took my side, or decided to be neutral.
Post # 7
@petalpetal: I’m sorry your friend is being so immature.
Post # 8
@petalpetal: it’s been one day. She may have read it while busy with other things, and hasn’t had the opportunity to reply yet. I got a similar message from a friend (though she was in the wrong) and I took two weeks to get back to her. Once we worked it out, she told me she was a mess once I hadn’t replied within a day or two, but I took my time to see what my feelings really were on the situation.
I don’t know your backstory, but your friend may be taking her time, and she’s entitled to that.
Post # 9
It’s only been a day. Give her some time–some people like to think about responses to stuff like this. I know I sometimes take a bit of time to think about messages and respond once I’ve processed what’s been said.
Post # 10
I honestly hate that now fb shows when I’ve read something. If someone sends something serious like this, I may take some time on how I want to respond