- 6 years ago
Hi bees. I wrote a post here a little less than a week ago. I have another account here, but due to the topic of my posts I decided to create an anonyous account.
Here was my last post:
The short summary of that post is that I had lately found for a third time that my Boyfriend or Best Friend had taken some sort of drug. Heroin the first two times, and some sort of opiate pills the third.
The third time changed something in him. On Wednesday he went to his hometown and told his family everything. I came to visit on Saturday since it was our 3rd year anniversary together. Plus, I wanted to be involved in making sure he was going to get better. A few things to mention:
He already looked and was doing so much better. His complexion cleared, he was no longer nodding off, and he was so much more lively. He was a lot more like the way he used to be. I hadn’t realized how much he had changed because it had been so gradual, but now I see it so clearly.
He is going to one of the best in-patient programs in the country. He’ll be going for a month and I won’t have much contact with him during that time (probably a good thing for both of us). We don’t know when he’ll go, because it will depend on his evaluation and when they would have an opening for him.
His problem is also worse than I thought, and it breaks my heart. He says that this has been out of hand for about a year and a half, but that even before that he had been experimenting with opiates, for pain relief. He had started with good intentions and with legitimate prescriptions, because he’s had dislocated shoulders and other back problems before. After a while he was using more and more to get the pain relief and somewhere it became something he just needed. The heroin had entered the equation when he didn’t have access to opiate medication.
It is amazing how determined he is to get clean and stay clean. I am impressed… but I am also aware that he lied to me through our whole relationship. I know that that was the addiction, not him. But… still, I can’t ignore what I’ve learned. That would be stupid. Do I believe that he can do it? Yes. I do. He is getting himself off the path waaaay before rock-bottom. He has never stolen, never gone to jail, so he is still pretty lucky, all things considered. It could be so much worse.
At the end of the day, will him getting clean be enough for me to stay with him?… That is still to be seen. I have to be sure that he is dedicated to doing whatever it takes to stay clean.