update on cookie and dog trainer

posted 3 months ago in Pets
Post # 91
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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kaitlyn8298 :  Yay for a happy result for both you and Cookie! You must feel very relieved Xx

Post # 92
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1224 posts
Bumble bee

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kaitlyn8298 :  I’m very relieved to hear that your SO came to his senses and took action for your safety and also the dog’s well-being.  Thank you for updating.

Post # 93
Member
2252 posts
Buzzing bee

What a great update! I am so glad that everyone is in agreement and you and Cookie are getting what is best for both of you.

Post # 95
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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kaitlyn8298 :  Omg, this is such an amazing update.  I’m so glad that everyone seemed to come to their senses.  I hope you can go through with the wedding and your marriage worry free.  Best of luck with everything, OP <3

Post # 96
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

 That is so good! Cookie will be so much happier now. I’m happy for both of you!

Post # 97
Member
464 posts
Helper bee

Excellent news! Glad for you that the dark cloud has lifted and everything worked out well for all of you. 😊

Post # 98
Member
1598 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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kaitlyn8298 :  this honestly sounds like the best possible outcome! So happy for you and Cookie!

Post # 99
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

So glad to hear your latest update!! I am so happy that Cookie is in a better environment and that you are no longer in danger. Even happier that your Fiance came around and was able to see the severity of the situation and do what is best for everyone.

Post # 101
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee

kaitlyn8298 :  Bee, I began to feel a nagging concern today about your situation and couldn’t quite put my finger on it so I re-read this thread from beginning to end.  The problem remaining is this: you have only worked out a partial solution to the problem with Cookie.  Your fils said that they travel a lot and your fi’s solution to that was that he could take Cookie when they’re gone.  This needs to be addressed.  You and Cookie cannot share the same space, for any amount of time, whether or not your fi is there to “supervise.”. Cookie has crossed the line of aggression toward you and what I said about it getting worse and more vicious each time is a warning that I can’t stress enough.  If your fils go out of town then Cookie should be boarded.  He cannot be brought back to the home you share with your fi.  It’s not safe.  And I’m concerned that the training advice may be distracting from the seriousness of this situation.  THERE IS NO TRAINING THAT CAN MAKE THIS SAFE–EVER!! 

 

If you visit your fils, Cookie should be kept in a separate room with the door closed the entire time you are there.  Your fi “being there” won’t keep you safe, in fact it may increase the danger.  He wants you to stop getting between him and your fi.  Apply that literally….  But back to the problem of what to do with Cookie when your fils are gone.  This should be addressed now or it will be fighting between you and your fi later.  I’m concerned that he’ll push bringing Cookie home, you’ll very nervously let it happen, and Cookie will harm you, not because you are nervous or because you don’t like him but because he has identified you as a threat he wants to get rid of.

 

About your boxer,:  your boxer has already acted to try to defend you.  He would get involved if Cookie showed aggression toward you again and then this could be a tragedy of catastrophic proportions with you and your boxer both badly injured, or your boxer dead.  I’ve seen that happen too, unfortunately. What I’ll describe is what I personally witnessed, which was a near death. A ridiculous dog my stupid stepmother bought for breeding declared herself alpha and rejected a rescue dog my dad had taken in at the time.  The rescue dog was a sweet timid German Shepherd mix, good sized.  But the aggressive alpha was bigger.  The sheherd was just not aggressively inclined.  I had already moved out by that point bc my stepmother had gone down crazy road in so many ways.  Leaving these dogs together unsupervised was so stupid I couldn’t believe she did it. She absolutely knew better.  It’s hard to believe she had once participated responsibly in dog training and fostering.  But she lost her mind. That day I dropped by the house to pick up some belongings I hadn’t moved out yet.  I went when no one was home and found the dogs in the yard, the alpha female tearing at the throat of the Shepherd rescue who was trying futilely to get away.  I took a huge risk to my safety to rescue that dog and it could have gone really badly.  The aggressive female was a very large, strong dog.  It may sound awful, but I whacked at her with the handle end –the stick end not the metal– to try to get her off the Shepherd.  I tried soft, then hard, and then when she turned toward me and growled, then returned to throat chewing, I literally hit her so hard I broke the handle over her head.  The wood was old.  She didn’t even squeak. (This is the only time I have ever hit a dog and really my life was in danger) But she backed off and I got the Shepherd out and ran.  The dog’s tearing had missed the major blood vessels in the throat.  It was a miracle.  That gash was three inches long and an inch wide.  I took the shepherd straight to the vet and would you believe my stupid stepmother was there with two of her other dogs.  I was so disgusted with her.  I handed the dog over to the vet, explained what happened, and then called my dad to tell him to keep the Shepherd away from that aggressive female.  He found a loving home for the Shepherd and that was the last rescue dog he took in.  Thank goodness. That home was no longer safe for rescues.  That sociopathic woman had just become too stupid and careless.  She absolutely knew better.  I know of several  cases where dogs died but I won’t describe those in detail and luckily those cases didn’t happen with our dogs in our home, but almost, right?!  Close call!

 

Bee, please please please don’t ever allow yourself to be around Cookie ever again, not even for a minute. Please don’t let Cookie around your boxer either.  And no–I’m not exaggerating or overreacting.  Please get this cleared up with your fi and I hope you update.  I knew there was something off here and I’m glad I re-read this thread to sort it out.

Post # 102
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee

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kaitlyn8298 :  please see my post above.  After a typo edit the server labeled it as a double post, so I removed the active tag to get it to post without any further hassle.

Post # 103
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

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gimmepretty :  all of this, OP. Also, if Cookie is too anxious to even go for walks, how will he handle boarding? No dog hotel would take a known biter, so your FH would just have to keep lying.

On top of all this, I still find it concerning that he took SO long to even try to rectify the issue. After all the hell you have been through, I am sure you are relieved and happy. However, your FH should have never put you through such hell in the first place. Rehoming with the in laws is only a partial solution, as PP stated. Your FH switched from a tiny bandaid to a slightly bigger bandaid. You are so beat down that you’re willing to accept any alternative to your FH’s original idea. 

A PP brought up that if this is how your FH addresses the issue with Cookie, it’s a reflection of how he will handle other challenges. For example, what if you have a special needs child that needs treatment? There was a whole thread about a toddler who was exhibiting violent behavior, and the dad insisted nothing was wrong. The mom was so drained and scared, and she had to deal with this situation alone until she finally got her husband to see the truth. Such isolation and frustration has been your reality, and it may not end here unless your FH has truly learned from his mistakes. People don’t change their personalities overnight. 

I wish you the best of luck.

Post # 104
Member
1546 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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gimmepretty :  The easiest solution here is that OP’s husband can go stay overnight with Cookie at his parents’ house while they travel. It will still be a bit of a sacrifice for OP, but much better than allowing Cookie back in their home or taking him to be boarded. 

Post # 105
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee

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kaitlyn8298 :  This is a good solution for Cookie, and certainly is much better than a basement prison. But don’t forget some of the other key points that have come up during this whole situation. Just because the most obvious piece of the puzzle is in place – Cookie and you being separated – doesn’t mean there aren’t other puzzles pieces to work on. 

How is your hand healing?

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