(Closed) UPDATE on crazy email plus 1 post

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

good! glad she apologised…and glad you’re still standing your ground!

Post # 4
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Wow. I guess that is an apology. I can see though that she just doesn’t get it, especially the  “I can’t pretend to understand why all of this is so important to you, but it clearly is, and you are important to me” comment.

It is not for her to understand what is important to you or your Fiance.

Ah, good luck with that!

Post # 5
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m glad she apologized too, although it wasn’t a very good one.  She’s certainly entitled to her opinion on weddings, but I don’t think it’s her place to let you two know that your wedding is not how SHE thinks they should be.  Personally, I don’t think you even want this sort of personality at your wedding!

Post # 6
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

And this is why we should all THINK before we act, eh?

Maybe just responding with, “Alright, thank you for your thoughts” or something really blah like that.

Post # 7
1205 posts
Bumble bee

I’m going to have to agree with ejs4y8.  I would respond in a very non-descript way.  If the friendship will be saved, let it be done after the wedding.  Who needs that kind of drama??

Post # 8
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

That’s like when my husband apologizes by saying “I’m sorry that you got mad at me” WTF? I would leave it all until after the wedding. I still say NO TO JOE!

Post # 9
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@ KateMW – Thats exactly what I was thinking.  It drives me crazy when FH says something like “I’m sorry you’re mad”.  Um, don’t be sorry I’m mad, be sorry for the stupid thing you did to make me mad!!

I was really hoping this girl would come to her senses and offer a real apology but clearly thats not going to happen!

Post # 10
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Wow!!  That is one crazy situation!  Why do weddings bring the crazy out in everyone?!! 

I say just invite Joe and move on!  I find that when we take a stand during our wedding planning it’s those “stands” we often regret later on!  We come to realize that it wasn’t worth all the hurt! 

Just my two cents …

Post # 11
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m still on team “No Joe”. If Fiance is important to her-she’ll show up and shut up. Just write back “thank you-I appreciate the email and we hope to see you on our special day” and leave it at that.

Post # 12
108 posts
Blushing bee

Whoa– I never saw that one coming!  That actually sounded like a genuine apology.  For someone who made her original opinion so vehemently known, I would say it is significant that she wrote this.  Personally, I would lean towards making amends.  But importantly, you are well within your right to just cross her off the friend/invite list.  Your day should be drama-free and you don’t need her spoiling it with negativity or passive-aggressive comments. 

On a related note, I have a friend who would receive scathing then sweet emails from a particular person.  True story– turned out she had dissociative identity disorder (multiple personalities).  Just sayin…. ;o)

Post # 13
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Ceremony: The Kraine Theatre, Reception: Midtown Loft & Terrace

It’s pretty surprising that she actually admitted that she was harsh, but that still wasn’t exactly an apology…I agree, I think you should send her a short email back saying something non-descript and allowing her to come if she so chooses, but her behavior definitely wouldn’t warrant an invite for Joe from me!

Post # 14
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

well i guess thats the closest thing to apology you will get. I would leave it as, you are invited and your dude is not. I hope you still come to celebrate out marriage.

Man I hope she gets engaged REALLY soon – then her perspective will change a bit!

Post # 16
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would invite Joe just to move past the drama and to be the (WAY) bigger people in this situation.  You can re-evaluate the friendship with her post-wedding.

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