Post # 1
If you haven’t read my previous post here it is so you have some background.
So today I have put alot of thought into what my next step would be with my ex and I decided to send him a text do to the fact he won’t answer the phone when I call. So here it is
“I have decided I will no longer be sending you updates on DS. I have tried to keep your relationship with him intact with little cooperation on your end. I will be able to some day explain your absence to DS. I will keep his relationship with his sisters intact. For now I am no longer going to try because you have mad it obvious you no longer care.”
His response was.
“You did this…….”
That pretty much validated me in the decision to completely cut ties with him.
Post # 3
He can try to make you look like the bad guy all he wants. The fact is he is the one not making the effort to see his child. Keep any proof you can of his lack of involvement so he can’t start saying you were keeping your son away from him. I mean how do you miss your own kids’ birthday? That is disgusting. Its definately not fair to your son to have a father is is there for him when its convenient.
Post # 4
I think you made the right decision. Of course he will try to blame you. Don’t let it get to you. ((hugs)) This isn’t your fault.
Post # 5
In your heart of hearts, you know you have made the right descision for you and your DS. Be strong for him- and enjoy and love your son as much as you can. All this heartache and stress that you’re going through shows how much you care- and how good a mummy you are! It will work out ok! He’s lucky to have you =)
Post # 6
I 100% agree and understand your situation.
The only difference is I facilitated DS’s relationship with his dad until DS was 5. And since then I can count on 1 hand how many times DS has gone to his dad’s including his visit there right now (he’s now 7)
Hindsight: I would have NOT facilitated things at all b/c after 5 years of DS still seeing his dad, the sudden stop was pretty hard and it took over a year with the help of Darling Husband to help DS understand WHY his dad didn’t come see him and HOW to keep a soft heart toward his dad.
Your part from here on out is to still always support the love of your sons dad for him and explain to him that his dad really just doesn’t realize or understand the effects of his actions. Not ever to bad mouth him (not saying you do) and to just pour all the love you can into your little one. The last thing we want is for our children to get hard hearted, but rather learn to continue to love (with the right boundaries) regardless of what others do to them.
It may be hard periodically at first (DS would have issues every 3-4 mths) but if you do your part your son will be just fine… and if you keep his heart soft he’ll be even better than some kiddos who are inundated with how “bad” their dads are.
Always remember: Hurting people Hurt people.. so as crappy as it his, his dad really just doesn’t know/understand the detriment of what he’s doing.
For both of our sons father’s sake I hope & pray that their biological fathers change before they miss everything.
Will be praying for some extra protection of heart for your son & strength & wisdom for you in this time of transition with him & for the years to come. =)