(Closed) Update on mom drama . Not getting any better. At wit end and not sure what to do

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
964 posts
Busy bee

it sounds like she is used to everyone in her life bending over backwards to please her and she doesnt like him because he doesn’t do that. If she is the kind of person who likes people to kowtow to her and he won’t, that probably pisses her off.

Post # 17
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

yogahhh:  So who told her he didn’t like her? You? She responded with something not so nice about him too,right? And so it began, and continued to go downhill.

Does she have a best friend or a sister she’s close to that you’d feel comfortable discussing this with? That might be my next step to see if there’s more to the story or a better explanation you might not even know about. Even if you’ve been so close all these years, there may be something else going on with her that may help you understand.

Ahhh…a Moher’s guilt we all have to learn how to handle. Back off and don’t give in. Let her make the first move.

Post # 18
760 posts
Busy bee

I hate to say it, but this sounds just like my mother. Almost everything your mom said to you (except for the relationship between your Darling Husband and herself) this is exactly my mother.

The best thing for this kind of person is to let them be and let them think what they want. I almost literally LOLed when you wrote about your mom making a snide comment and then saying she was kidding- MY MOTHER. No one is allowed to be offended by what they say, but we all have to watch our mouths for fear of them going off the deep end and “going from 0-60” as my family puts it where a totally innocent comment is taken the wrong way by them. 

Let her think and say what she wants because at the end of the day, any rational person in your corner will see it that way too.

Post # 21
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

yogahhh:  Sorry for the heart attack!  Has she always been like this?

Post # 23
8983 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

yogahhh:  I think you have to stop expecting her to be any different than she is. Stop trusting  her to behave  like somebody else, some other pleasant  rational person.   I was amazed you trusted her with your rings for goodness sake , you might  have  guessed something   like it from a woman who openly says   she wants to wear funereal black , wants to  do the ‘ I  object’ etc .

No need to cut ties but no need to  keep calling her only to be abused and manipulated either . Sure  you can call, but  as soon she starts in , firmly tell her you’ll   put the phone down if she continues.   And do so .   It’s hard but it’s simple .

The best of luck , keep us posted .

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