(Closed) Update on Sister situation- Have no clue what to think-HELP!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sounds like she has a lot going on in her life that is really getting her down. Its difficult to deal with added stress when too much BS is already going on in your personal life. I would ride this out a bit and try to be sweet to each other. She is your sister and many years down the road you hope you keep a relationship with her. It’s hard work to maintain a good relationship with anyone.

Post # 7
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ahh, I see that post now. Hmm, well is sounds like shes just a pessimist. Again, its hard to deal with problems and she may be one of those people who has no idea how to deal with anything that she lashes back in anger to anyone who adds frustration. I must say though that you handled yourself well and are mature about it. In the meantime, I would try to continue to keep the peace, even if you want to scream inside. I dont beleive in giving up.. but also never let yourself get walked on. Best of luck

Post # 9
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sounds like she realized she needs her sister.  My dad is very much this way.  He will call me out of the blue and scream at me about something trivial then a few days later he will call and apologize.  While still unacceptable, I understand why.  I am the one person who, no matter what, will always be there.  My half sister is a moron, my brother lives states away and in the army, and his wife would just leave him if he did that.  Sound to me like that is what she may have done.  All the issues going on blew up out on you because you are the one person she knows will always be there.  It is still not appropriate behavior, but maybe you can put it behind you and call her.

Post # 11
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Maybe a break is in order then.  Maybe you should take what you just wrote and send that back to her.  It was straight and to the point without being malicious.   You have the right to protect yourself from verbal abuse, especially with what you have been through.  It sounds like you have alot of self awareness and you have become a healthier person because of it.  Sometimes cutting the toxic out of our lives (even if it is just for awhile) can give us the time we need.  Alittle tough love may not be bad for her either.

Post # 13
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Seems to me that instead of doing what she’s supposed to and appologizing she is trying to make you feel guilty.

Don’t fall for this!

If she wanted you to know that she was having problems she would have told you.  If she truly lashed out at you becasue she was having problems she would say:

“I’m sorry…blah blah blah.   I was having a hard time and I took it out on you and i realize that is wrong.”

Instead she says: “And what is even better is that although it is completely uncharacteristic of S* to tell the world to go to hell, you didnt wonder for a moment if something was wrong.”

AAAHHH I’m mad as hell and this does not concern me! My advice, don’t let her make you feel guilty.  By The Way I agree that I don’t think she wrote it.

Tell her that you want to be there and help her though her problems but that you think she ows you an apology instead of trying to make you feel guilty.

Post # 14
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Atalanta: I agree!!

I agree with everyone else who said they think you guys need a break. Hopefully with some time she’ll gain some perspective and see that she was wrong. I wouldn’t count on it though. But you really don’t deserve to be treated like that. The letter “she” wrote is manipulative and sneaky. That’s so underhanded to try to make you feel bad…you shouldn’t feel bad! She should!

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