Post # 17
@Molly929: That’s a good suggestion, and for this one, I am the one who is hesitant. I just feel icky about his mom “accepting” this treatment, and I have very little respect for her. I don’t really want to be around her myself. I think she should have done more to show me that she cares. If you don’t remember, this all started with his mom not accepting my Facebook request and birthday greetings. I doubt her husband snoops into her FB account. She could have accepted my request and said “Thanks for birthday wishes” in the very least.
His mom being a special ed teacher is a slap in the face. She should know better.
To be honest, I’m pretty pissed off at this woman. Moreso than his Satan dad.
In time, I might be able to accept her into my life. SO is finally realizing that it’s their choice to exclude me from their lives, just as it is my choice to accept them back if they show they care and are sorry. I told him I am not merchandise to put back on the shelf until they are “ready” to purchase. I may decide I don’t give a whoop-dee-la if they like me or not. Of course, if we have kids, I will suck it up. Until then, they are just protoplasm to me.
Post # 18
@Mrs. Harmony: I can’t say as I blame you.
Post # 19
I’m glad to hear you’ve really talked this out and come to a solution that will work for your family. I’d suggest not entirely writing the mom off and (in time) considering seeing her on neutral ground such as a lunch out. It’s not quite inviting her into your home and “accepting” her take on the situation, but I think the more of a relationship you build with her, the more likely she can feel confident standing up to Future Father-In-Law and saying “these are our grandkids.” Maybe it’s idle hope, but hope nonetheless.
Post # 20
@kay01: Thank you. The situation depresses me. SO loves his mom to death. I love SO to death. Everyone knows his dad’s an ass, so it’s easier to stomach his comments, you know? Thank you so much.
Post # 21
I’ve been following your story as well. I worked with special needs children in college … all spectrums…. each so very very special and more full of love than any other child I’ve ever met. If they want to cut your son from their lives it’s their loss. As long as your FH treats your baby with respect and love, that’s all you need to focus on. I’m very happy that you decided to insist all children will be treated 100% equally. Stick to that!! NO EXCEPTIONS EVER! Your son will meet enough prejudice and judgement in his life. He doesn’t need implication that mom and step dad support even an inch of this.
You are a good mom:) Good for you for standing up for your son AND for YOURSELF!
Post # 22
I am guilty of stalking your thread too! And I have to say, I breathed a sigh of relief when I read this update. I think this agreement is the best decision for the two of you, and regardless of what we think; you’re right, she is still his mother and he deserves to know that she is okay. I’m really wishing you the best on this one.
Post # 23
Ok, I am glad that your SO is supporting you and you came up with some sort of solution. I do agree with PP that you and SO should sit down with his mom alone and see how SHE feels about the entire situatiaon…at say a resturant or something. I feel like if she is a Spec. Ed. teacher she should know better, and i think deep down she does….
Post # 24
I have been following as well. This sounds like a much better solution and I’m so glad you and your SO were able to work things out in a way that will be best for your son and your future children.
We are here to support you and I’m so glad you really did take our advice to heart. You are in a very tough situation and I think you are working your way through it really well.
I wish you, your son, and your SO all the best. I really hope there is some way to bring his family around as well, but as long as you and your SO put forth a united front when it comes to your son and any children you may have together then you are doing the right thing.
Post # 25
It sounds like you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend have great communication and have a good plan at this point. Blending families is always tough, even more so given your FFIL’s personality. Good luck!