(Closed) UPDATE on situation with boyfriend

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 19
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m glad to hear you’ve really talked this out and come to a solution that will work for your family.  I’d suggest not entirely writing the mom off and (in time) considering seeing her on neutral ground such as a lunch out.  It’s not quite inviting her into your home and “accepting” her take on the situation, but I think the more of a relationship you build with her, the more likely she can feel confident standing up to Future Father-In-Law and saying “these are our grandkids.”  Maybe it’s idle hope, but hope nonetheless.

Post # 21
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’ve been following your story as well. I worked with special needs children in college … all spectrums…. each so very very special and more full of love than any other child I’ve ever met. If they want to cut your son from their lives it’s their loss. As long as your FH treats your baby with respect and love, that’s all you need to focus on. I’m very happy that you decided to insist all children will be treated 100% equally. Stick to that!! NO EXCEPTIONS EVER! Your son will meet enough prejudice and judgement in his life. He doesn’t need implication that mom and step dad support even an inch of this.


You are a good mom:)  Good for you for standing up for your son AND for YOURSELF!

Post # 22
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am guilty of stalking your thread too! And I have to say, I breathed a sigh of relief when I read this update. I think this agreement is the best decision for the two of you, and regardless of what we think; you’re right, she is still his mother and he deserves to know that she is okay. I’m really wishing you the best on this one.

Post # 23
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Ok,  I am glad that your SO is supporting you and you came up with some sort of solution. I do agree with PP that you  and SO should sit down with his mom alone and see how SHE feels about the entire situatiaon…at say a resturant or something. I feel like if she is a Spec. Ed. teacher she should know better, and i think deep down she does….

Post # 24
8736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have been following as well. This sounds like a much better solution and I’m so glad you and your SO were able to work things out in a way that will be best for your son and your future children.

We are here to support you and I’m so glad you really did take our advice to heart. You are in a very tough situation and I think you are working your way through it really well.

I wish you, your son, and your SO all the best. I really hope there is some way to bring his family around as well, but as long as you and your SO put forth a united front when it comes to your son and any children you may have together then you are doing the right thing.

Post # 25
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

It sounds like you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend have great communication and have a good plan at this point. Blending families is always tough, even more so given your FFIL’s personality. Good luck!

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