(Closed) Update: On so Angry/mad I can’t sleep. Email rough draft

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t write to her directly

 

Post # 4
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think your FH should communicate these boundaries to her, or you should meet with the case worker to set the boundaries as well.

Post # 6
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What if you re-draft your letter as coming from the case worker and ask him to send it? I agree that it would be better off coming from him – this woman is already clearly disrespectful of you and out right doesn’t like you… I would guess an email like this would just make her mad and act out even more.

Also, did you want us to point out grammar/spelling mistakes? I noticed a few but didn’t know if you were looking for that kind of feedback.

Post # 7
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

First of all, I agree with PP I would not send a letter and I would make FI deal with it.

Not to be snarky but two edits to make: Through not threw and forever is one word

This line seems unecessarily cruel “I am the “mother” figure in the childrens lives on a day to day basis”. If this is really just about informing her of boundaries then I think you need to keep it more neutral.

Post # 8
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you’re right to set boundaries and make sure that she knows it. It just might sink in better coming from a professional, like the case worker. If’s she’s as unreasonable as you have described, I’m not sure emailing her directly will go over well.

You are doing a good thing, though, setting down some ground rules.

Post # 10
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@MarryMeTiffany: Oh absolutely no need to apologize, just wanted the make sure you were aware

Post # 11
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I missed the earlier post, however once she has been notified you need to block her number or change his number so that she cannot directly contact him.

Post # 13
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I just read your last post. I agree with others that coming from you might make the situation a little more difficult.

I understand your caseworker may suck, but she has a responsibility in this matter and should be involved. I would request a meeting with the caseworker, Bridesmaid or Best Man, your Fiance and yourself. This way the new rules can be set out on the table and the caseworker can take note of the situation. 

Post # 14
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MarryMeTiffany: Then you can definitely block her number from being able to call.

@tranquility: I agree that the case worker should be involved so that there is some official notes in the file regarding this matter.

Post # 15
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Just read your other post.  Ground rules are great, but if your FH doesn’t enforce them, they won’t be of much help.  You’ll be the bad cop and he’ll be the good cop.  Is your FH aware of the things she posts of FB?  Of course you need to save the stuff she posts and show it to him and the case worker.  I think you have every right to inform the mom of the ground rules because the children are in your home as well as your FHs home.  I think it would be better coming from him, but I think your biggest concern is getting him to understand the reason for the ground rules and for him to actually enforce them.  You two have to present a united front.  Right now, it doesn’t seem that you two are on the same page.

Post # 16
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Okay I dont understand the case fully but from what I know when kids are in foster care their parents still do have some rights over the children.  If the biological mom thought her daughter should wait to get the piercing, as the foster mom I think the best advice you could have given to the 14 yr old was to think about it some more and not rush into it. No matter what happens that woman will always be her biological mom so its not wise for you to teach the girl to 100% disregard her bio moms opinions and advice.

I think honestly its too much for you having a foster child who is the daughter of someone that your Fiance was involved with. IN the end you have to make decisions that are best for the children. If they benefit from her calling on FI’s phone, why place a ban on that? Who really loses from the ban? If she is disrespecting you I dont think her punishment should be somthing that deprives the kids from time that they enjoy with her. Because that means you are punishing them too

The topic ‘Update: On so Angry/mad I can’t sleep. Email rough draft’ is closed to new replies.

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