(Closed) Update on the MOH form HELL??

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

Well, while it seems a bit pricey to some (like college students, or other lifestyles that don’t have a lot of extra income) I think it’s actually on the lower end for bridesmaids. It sounds like your Maid/Matron of Honor is just being a bit selfish, and unfortunately that’s the prevalent attitude these days. It’s seemingly more an inconvenience and less of an honor to be a bridesmaid in our society. And I’ll admit, I’ve bitched enough about it myslef to be honest. $500 for a cruise sounds a heckuva lot more enticing than $265 for a dress and a hairdo and some shoes, you know?

Regardless, she agreed to this, and I think you’re being more than fair. I think the best move to keep the friendship (or whatever she calls it) intact is to ignore her behavior, and spend time with the girls who support you.

Maybe you can give her the option to do her own hair and makeup? I know it’s not a conventional one, but most ladies these days are pretty good at dolling up. And I know if I were in a tight spot (or just depressed at tossing away 60 bucks on a hairstyle that washes out in the morning) I’d appreciate the option to save a few dollars and do it myself.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh wow, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation :(. She seems like a really selfish person. Can you have another Bridesmaid or Best Man promoted to co-MOH so that you can have someone in that position who actually cares about you?

Post # 7
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@FairytaleEnding:

That sucks that you are in this situation!  She honestly does not sound like someone who is deserving of being your Maid/Matron of Honor.

I mean…everyone really kind of agrees to be in a wedding party with the understanding that it’s going to cost some money, right?   So for her to be complaining so much really isn’t very nice to you. 

I agree with the previous poster!  Drop her and promote one of your other bridesmaids!

Good Luck!

Post # 8
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah.  She should know that the bride does not pay for her batchelorette!  But I also don’t think you should demand they pay for hair and makeup.  If you want them to get it done, you should pay. 

Post # 9
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@FairytaleEnding: You need to start shifting the Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities to another Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Or perhaps fire her?  Do you really see the two of you being friends after this wedding?  If the wedding is a year away, you’ll save yourself a lot of hassle by NOT having her as your Maid/Matron of Honor.

Truth is, she probably doesn’t realize she’s being like this and by firing her as your Maid/Matron of Honor, I’m sure she’ll learn a valuable lesson….

Post # 10
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Atalanta:  She didn’t demand.  In fact she offered to let them do it themselves and they declined:

“I agree. and I did giver her and all of the other girls the option of doing their own hair and make up. They all wanted to have a professional do it for them.  Everyone was excited that it was only $60.”

Op I’m not sure what to tell you other then to just try and ignore her.  I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.  🙁

Post # 12
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@FairytaleEnding:Two things you said really stand out to me:

“I guess I just assumed that after all I had done and all the times I was there for her…..that she could be there for me this one time.”

and

“I do have a year….maybe she will fix her attitude…”

It seems like you expect a change in her behavior or attitude without an intervention. She may think her behavior is acceptable because she hasn’t been checked on it, for years it seems. Hindsight is 20/20 and you seem to now realize that you shouldn’t have picked her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. But at this point you should should tell her that after everything you two have been throough, you need her support during wedding planning and not her criticism. You deserve better! If she isn’t up to the task, then she should walk away from the job. And you can gradually shift Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities to another Bridesmaid or Best Man. I’m sorry that you’re in this situation, it sounds awful. It’s good you have other BMs around you. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@FairytaleEnding: Wow she sounds like a TERRIBLE friend… I’m so sorry. Maybe you should just drop her?

Post # 14
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@FairytaleEnding:  oh wow…. I had a similar post about a month ago and I can completely understand how you feel.  Have you tried talking it all over with her before giving her the boot?  That was my plan of action but it didn’t go over so well!  I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this… I really hope things turn around for you.

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