Post # 1
So here is the deal –
The band is sterling silver that has been been plated with a thin layer of platinum.
The diamonds are real – the band is pave with microchips and baguettes. The marquise center stone is also pave. They are low quality.
I spoke to FH about it. I asked him, what kind of metal my engagement ring was.. he told me he purchased a platinum ring. I asked him if it was fully platinum or plated, he said he paid for full platinum – yet when I told him he was duped – he had no reaction. Nothing.
I’m not sure how to feel. It’s not that i care so much about the ring. I hated it when I first got it – as its not my stle, but its grown on me. It can always be added to etc.
I’m afraid he’s lying to me or there’s something else going on. I hate it.
Post # 3
@dragonlover: Oh man, I am so sorry you are going through this! *HUGS* I am not sure what to think, and I imagine you feel the same. On one hand, he cares to want to get you something nice like platinum, but yet he lied to you and didn’t care enough to check what it really was, OR thought he could fool you.
I would be super irked by this. I would rather hear that he showed a shocked reaction to hear he was duped (if he truly was). Personally I would trade it in/sell it due to the bad feelings that go with it, and get something you love in your price range of course. As long as there is not something deeper going on, I would want to move on from that ring altogether and get a fresh start.
Post # 4
I’m a little curious as to why you had your ring tested? What made you doubt him in the first place?
Post # 5
@BerryBerry: her ring was stamped with a sterling silver label.
OP, I’m really sorry. This sucks.
Post # 6
You’re right, his reaction is strange. Maybe he’s embarrassed that you found out that either he got scammed or that he lied to you.
Either way, I’m sorry you have to go through this with your e-ring.
Post # 7
@MapleMoose: I agree. From his reaction, I really think he knew. If this was new info, I’d think he’d be upset that he was ripped off too.
At this point, since you told him and he denies it, I think I’d just drop it. Do you know what he really paid for it and if in fact he did get ripped off. Or have you just been going by what he’s told you?
Post # 8
I would talk to him about this. If he was in fact scammed, he needs to file a report. If he lied to you, you need to have a talk. That’s a pretty serious thing to lie about. I know that its the thought that counts, and maybe he felt pressured to buy you a ring that he could not afford, but to lie about something so important is bad. I, for one, would want to get to the root of the problem here. If he lied because he was lazy or did not think you would ever know the difference, I think I would have a really hard time forgiving him. If he did it out of embarrassment or shame that he could not afford better, it seems like there is hope for you to salvage the situation. If he was scammed, he needs to get his money back. Either way, he has some explaining to do!
Post # 9
@BerryBerry: I actually was a bit careless, I hit my ring and put a large ding in it. I tried to at least buff some small part of it out – and it didn’t improve at all.
While in the process, I realized it was stamped sterling silver – which would explain some of the wear and tear after a year.
I don’t know how to feel.. I hated the ring at first, then came to love it because it symbolized his want to be with me. Now…
Is he lying to me, or was he duped? if he was duped, why didn’t he have a reaction?
Post # 10
hmmm…that would make me really uncomfortable personally. I would push him about his lack of reaction and find out what he knew–maybe he just really wanted to please you?? but if you don’t feel comfortable about this, what about the even bigger decisions you’ll have to trust him on after you get married…? idk… I agree with cupcake 2012 that I would probably want to get a new ring as well
Post # 11
I know FH for 10 years. I know his job and his salary, and his student debts. I know he couldn’t afford a $3,000 ring like some ladies here. I didn’t really expect much to be honest. I’m just… irked and upset that it seems like he’s lying to me.
What else is he lying about?
Post # 12
There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying the ring you can afford, but at the same time a platinum plated ring with diamonds might run about $100-$200 and cannot be worn like a platinum ring. How much did he say he paid?
Post # 13
I hope he isn’t lying about bigger issues. Maybe this was just a pride thing and an isolated incident.
Post # 14
If he was duped, it could be that he feels really angry/embarassed about it. I don’t know your Fiance, obviously, but when my guy gets embarassed or realizes he got screwed at something, he gets really quiet and brooding. I read your other post; is it possible the aunt/jewelry dealer screwed him over and now he’s deciding what to do?
Post # 15
No reaction? Especially if he paid that kind of money? Something is amiss… I’m sorry to say.
Post # 16
@pharmy: When I told him the ring was sterling silver, not platinum – if he had paid for platinum he was duped.
He went extremly quiet silent. It’s true, when angry, very angry – my guy can be the type to go silent & white hot angry.
I quietly suggested he take it up with his aunt (who helped him pick out the ring) or the jeweler. He said his aunt would not have mislead him because despite all the shady shit she does (a lot, I would have never trusted her. Not sure why he went to her for help) she wouldn’t cross a family member.
He said it must have been the dealer. But insisted the dealer was one the family has trusted for years.
From the beginning, something has been up. I don’t like it – it actually makes me not want to waer the ring -just because of all the negative – the argument when I first got it, he realized I was hidign I didn’t like it ..and wouldn’t fix that. Then no, when I think he’s been lying to me for months or he got jipped, but won’t even take action to get back.