- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2010
I posted this last week which was actually an update from my first post about my Darling Husband backing out of wanting to TTC: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/scared-ill-never-enjoy-sex-again
We had our 3rd counseling session and we are starting to make good progress. I did a lot of research to find a counselor that Darling Husband could relate to (male, former business owner turned family therapist…etc). Over the past few weeks we have been discussing our relationship and all of DH’s fears about fatherhood. Our therapist has acknowledged that all of DH’s fears are valid and that he and pretty much 99% of all possibly-soon-to-be-fathers usually experience similar feelings.
Through therapy, Darling Husband has started to see a family as being an extension of our happy and supportive relationship instead of a burden. He has also received some great advice from the Therapist about balancing his priorities with a family and a business. We have talked in length about our roles and responsibilities once we have a child, so it has calmed a lot of his fears. Example: I do overnight feedings while on Mat leave so he can be rested and productive at work (although the Therapist admitted that he loved doing overnight feedings becauase it was a great time to bond since he was gone all day, and Darling Husband agreed that he may feel that way too).
We still have work to do, but I think we’re making really good progress. I want to get to a point where he is excited about having a family instead of just being complacent. In the end I think this will make us better parents because we are discussing everything people probably ‘should’ discuss before they make such a major life adjustment. Even our Therapis said that we have one of the strongest foundations he has ever seen, that we are realistic about the struggles we will face, and we will make excellent parents one day!