- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Last week I started a thread where my FI’s SIL (brother’s wife) posted on my Facebook to ask if I could invite her parents and sister/BIL/their kids to our wedding. You can read it here if you want.
We had lunch with FMIL yesterday and I got a notification on my phone and FSIL had posted on my Facebook (again). A couple of days ago, FI had asked her to have his brother call him. Her response yesterday was that they didn’t have our numbers. I gave her FI’s and FMIL said, “Oh yeah, [brother] dropped their phone and the screen is cracked.” Okay, so their phone, the one that they told us DIDN’T WORK, still actually works, they just can’t see the screen? Why lie?
We went to my FFIL’s house for Father’s Day yesterday. FI’s little sister and I ended up on a walk around the neighborhood, discussing my frustration with FI’s brother and SIL and how FI has been trying to get ahold of his brother for months now to no avail. Little sis says, “Oh, when they were here, they told dad that you and [FI] are cold and distant and never try to talk to them or anything.”
Who is the one who contacted FBIL about FI’s bachelor party (via email, the only way that we have to contact them)? Me. Who is the one who waited a solid month for his reply? Me. Who was the one who emailed all of the email addresses that he had for his brother to try to talk to him or get him to call him? FI. He never got a response. I can’t even count the number of times that FFIL has said that he’s called/emailed/sent packages to them with no response. They told family that they didn’t want gifts, just cash a couple of years ago for Christmas (ugh). FFIL sent them a HUGE package with a nice-sized check AND gifts for all three of them, and got zero response. No “thank you,” no “hey, we got your package,” nothing.
But they think me a cold, distant bitch? I will oblige them.
So then we’re sitting outside, enjoying the weather, and FI’s phone rings with an out of state area code. Surprise! It’s FI’s brother! Oh, he’s calling to wish his dad a happy father’s day, how nice. He didn’t bother to call his mother on Mother’s Day, despite the fact that she raised her boys basically on her own. FFIL passed the phone to grandma and then grandpa, then FI took it. He walked away to the other side of the yard and talked for a while, and then went in the house. He came out after a while and then we went home, but he wouldn’t really talk about what happened. He DID say that he brought up the wedding and whatnot, which really surprised me. FI is NOT a confrontational person and just wants everyone to be happy. He said that he didn’t know when he was going to speak to him again and wanted to take the opportunity that he DID have and clear things up. Good for him. But he still wouldn’t tell me what happened. Argh.
This morning, I finally got him to tell me that his brother is NO LONGER our best man. I’m not sure how much you ladies will understand what a HUGE relief this is for me. The idea of this person his brother has become being our best man, being responsible for holding my wedding band, being my FI’s main support, giving a speech, gave me panic attacks. Just thinking about his brother being late or not showing up at all, and my poor FI being upset/sick from stress/not being able to focus on US on our wedding day, was making me sick. I had heartburn/stomach issues all last week because of this stupid situation.
HOPEFULLY, I can get him to tell me what’s going on more when I get home from work, but at least he’s no longer in one of the most important roles (no word on whether he’s still in the wedding or not, though).
I still feel bad for my FI, though. He and his brother used to be SO close, but his brother’s wife has really made him a stranger to the whole family and blames it on us. He really, really misses his brother and it really breaks my heart.