(Closed) Update: So I Walked..

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

*hugs* proud of you. You will find your someone

Post # 48
4176 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@NickiBee:  I am so proud of you for choosing your path and not waiting around for something that may not happen. You are opening up your chances now for that dream life you really want. I am SO happy that you took this step, even though it undoubtedly hurts.

DO mourn the loss of the dream (for now) and don’t give up.

Post # 49
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I want to say congratulations to you for your courage!  I will share my story, and hope that you get some comfort from it.  I was with a man for nearly 8 years, and I fought very hard to keep the relationship when I should have acknowledged the signs and had the courage to move on.  He ended up cheating on me and having a child with someone else…and by that point, I didn’t even really care.  I was relieved to be free of a relationship that wasn’t giving me what I wanted.  I ended up meeting my boyfriend a few short weeks later, and we’re now nearly two years in, talking about marriage and making plans for a life.  I’m going to turn 36 in 2 months.

Keep your goals always in sight.  Be up front, and you’ll find someone.  You are now free to have the life YOU want and have dreamed about.  I didn’t think there would ever be anyone else for me, but I was SO wrong!

Best of luck!

Post # 50
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@NickiBee:  aww sweet heart im so sorry i know how this feels. and you sound like a strong women to know what you want and know that this man is not going to give that to you. please keep your head up the right one will come along. buy yourself a piece of Rose quarts and garnet it acts as a love potion for love of all kinds self love love from friends and family and romantic love it draws love to you; ) wear it with sterling silver ; ) i wish you the best and we hope to see you back here soon!

blessings love and light to you and yours!

Post # 51
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Wow! I am so proud of you and I hope you are feeling proud of yourself despite all of the other emotions you must be dealing with too =). You are an inspiritation to all women and I hope you recognize that! Any woman with the confidence, strength and self-respect like yours is a woman that there are millions of men out there looking for to become their wife. Seriously… a woman as strong as you will find one in no time =). Don’t worry about your age, just take it day by day. It will happen when it happens– and it will be perfect– but I bet it will happen sooner rather than later (I mean, hellooo… you are a catch! Your future husband is out there rejoicing that you are finally single again!)

Congratulations. In the words of the amazingly strong, confident and beautiful Samantha Jones… “I love you, but I love me more”. Love is wonderful, but you should never love a man at the cost of your own pride and self-respect!

SO PROUD of you!

Post # 52
253 posts
Helper bee

@NickiBee:  Congrats on that walk, Diva! Im very proud of you for doing that. You know what you, your heart, and your happiness need. I can’t wait until you are engaged, and hear to share the news with us. Just like someone told me, “God is making you into a testimony for someone else’s struggles.” Don’t give up! You hold your head high, don’t be upset, be proud! He didn’t waste your 30’s too. You still have the opportunity to meet someone who will and can love you for a lifetime. And vice versa. And you will have babies too. I think it sucks when a guy strings a woman along for that long time. It comes back on them in the end though. *mischevious grin* 🙂 Best of luck, Diva!!!Tongue OutCool

Post # 53
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@NickiBee:  Hi there…been off the board for a bit. Just wanted to tell you congrats for sticking to your decision. I’m sure it was very difficult, but things will get easier. I have a friend that desperately needs to set a walk date. She’s been with this guy for 10 years and he is no more ready for marriage now than he was a decade ago. It may not feel like it now, but you did yourself a huge favor. *hugs*

Post # 54
51 posts
Worker bee

I have heard that sucsess is walking away from who you are to accept who you are about to become. When the pain subsides you will become one happy lady who is adored by a man who is WORTHY! I wish you every success babe really do. You are an inspiration. 

Post # 55
564 posts
Busy bee

@NickiBee:  (Biggest hugs) you are an amazing strong women & he’s a douche for letting go, period

Post # 58
802 posts
Busy bee

@NickiBee:  I just wanted to say that any guy you end up with will be so lucky to have a strong woman like you! Good luck and all the best with whatever you decide! I wish you every happiness in the world and know that someone who so clearly knows what she wants will get it. You’re an inspiration. =)

Post # 59
158 posts
Blushing bee

@NickiBee:  Glad you’re back on the Bee.  Honestly, I had a feeling your ex would come back when you first mentioned that you were walking, but I didn’t want to say anything in case it didn’t happen.  

Sometimes all it takes is for a woman to leave for a man for him to realize that’s what most important.  Don’t hold that against him too much.  He now respects you more than had you just stayed because now he knows you have the strenth to do what you know is right even though it may hurt you.  You appear soooo much more confident than before.  But of course the reason we (women) walk isn’t just to appear confident. 

I know a married woman that “walked” on her husband while they were MARRIED – she just moved out for a few days (married less than a year at the time) – not because he cheated or was abusive, etc – but just because she felt he wasn’t valuing her.  They now have a very strong relationship and have been married over 10 years. 

 Your ex realizes that he’s taken your relationship for granted.  I’m not saying you should come back to him grinning like a giddy little schoolgirl, but in my opinion, this is the perfect time to have a deep discussion with him regarding your future (if you want that of course) and find out his reasons for delaying the proposal in the first place, etc. and set up steps for the next stages of your lives. 

This is YOUR life, I’m not sure 100% what I would do in this situation but I think I would likely take him back after a thorough discussion if the two of you can get on the same page.  But then again, I’m not hurting as you are.  But realize that the fact that he went out to get a ring  means he does appreciate you and can’t live without you.  Not everyone who walks has their SO proposing in a few weeks.

I’m soooo happy that your ex came to his senses (regardless of what you decide to do) and hopefully we’ll see you on here a bit more, regardless of whether you take him back.  Let us know what you decide to do and best of luck! 

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