Update… the boyfriend who views marriage as a prison sentence

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee

Even though you are hurting right now, I am glad for you. I think you’re going to look back on this day soon and realize what an amazing and strong decision you have made.

Post # 17
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - backyard

I didn’t see your original post but your update has me crying happy tears. I’m soooo proud of you for taking an awesome new job and taking a trip just for you! 

Post # 18
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

PP have already said it more eloquently than I, however, congratulations on taking the new amazing job, and have a blast on your trip. It hurts now because, it’s fresh. You’re strong, and will move on to what’s best for you. Hang in there, and enjoy your vacation! You are an inspiration, bee.

Post # 19
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I read your last thread and I’m so relieved you’re getting away from this situation. Exciting times ahead for you! 

Post # 20
Member
40 posts
Newbee

I realize that I’m just an internet stranger but I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO incredibly proud of you. What you did was so brave and irrefutable evidence of how much respect you have for yourself. I hope you have the most amazing time in South East Asia and congratulations on your new job! You deserve so much better than someone who would try to trap you in a relationship where your needs are not being met! You go girl! You’re the best!!!!!!

Post # 21
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

joanne1992 :  so proud of you for taking that job and booking that trip.

Let his handling the breakup reinforce that you are so much better off without him.  The fact he so compulsively needed to make it all your FAULT rather than see that you having your needs is jsut as valid as him having his own is just one more indicator that he’s a self-centered jerk.  A rational person would see that you two have fundamentally different wants in life and arent compatible.  A better person would see that you had given up so much for him and he gave nothing in return.  He can’t do either.  Good riddance.

OMG enjoy your new job, your baller salary, your big trip, your time reconnecting with friends and family! You’re such a catch you multi-lingual, high-earning, adventurous, independant woman, you!  Any guy who has the chance to date you will be lucky, and the one you ultimately choose to settle down with will be the luckiest.  

Post # 22
Member
6847 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Love does not conquer all. It cannot repair certain differences–children/no children, marriage/no marriage, sometimes religion…

You’ve made the right choice, Bee. He did not appreciate the sacrifices you had already made to be with him and still expected you to sacrifice your requirement of marriage before children. You just want different things.

I hope you are pleasantly surprised by how quickly you move on from this relationship once you are really able to consider your own goals and dreams. Hugs. 

Post # 23
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think you made the right choice. You care for him, but he didn’t care enough for you to consider your dreams and sacrifices. And look at him blaming you for the breakup *shaking my head in disgust* 

Also, travel is an amazing cure for heartbreak. 

Post # 24
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I remember your last post, this is clearly a hard decision for you but it really seems you’re making the right choice. My friend is going through a breakup with a French man right now and there’s quite a few parallels between your stories. It’ll take time to get past but you deserve better than this. 

3x the salary is worth it on its own! Enjoy the London life and your travels 🙂 

Post # 25
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I remember your previous posts, and I’m so happy to see you took the job. As I read your update, I was nervous that at the end, he proposed with a “shut up” proposal with no plans of ever marrying you, just to get his own way. Your had a great few years (and some great learning experiences) and now you’re ready for the next phase of your life. And enjoy a month in Asia! How exciting!!

Post # 26
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

YOU GO GIRL! So excited for your new job and awesome trip coming up! From what you’ve told us it definitely seems like you’ve made the right decision! ☺️

Post # 27
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Wow! So proud of you!! Well done!  Congratulations on the new job and enjoy your travel!

You’ve done the right thing, and after putting him and his wants first, it’s time for you to put yourself first.  I can’t believe how selfish he is! He says that you’re throwing 4 years away over “this”, but basically all he’s said is “what I want is more important that what you want”

The loss of a relationship will hurt for awhile, but stay strong!  You’re doing amazing 🙂

Post # 28
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

Well done! You have taken a stride forward and started fulfilling your own dreams. Leave the past behind. I know it will be hard as there are a lot of emotions there but you have so much to look forward to. Glance back in the rear view mirror and wave goodbye and then put the acclerator down with a smile! All the best.

Post # 29
Member
576 posts
Busy bee

Holy shit I have NEVER been more satisfied with an update as I am at the moment. It’s almost a blessing that you were from a different country because it puts so much physical space between you which will make your break up easier (no running back to eachother and stringing each other along that sometimes happens after a break up).

I am soooo proud of you and I would buy you a drink if I could! Have a fabulous time on your vacation!

Post # 30
Member
2024 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

His excuses don’t hold water. He has to pay child support for his child, because he’s the child’s father, not because he was married to her mom. Having children with you leaves him in the same possible situation, marriage or not. 

You made the right decision. I wouldn’t grace him any more of your time. You have way better things ahead. 

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