Post # 1
so yesterday I asked you if I should show to the Fiance the MIL’s email saying that she agreed with date/place of the wedding! I was unsure if that would sound childish… Fiance was making a big deal saying I had just thought of my family for the best date, bla, bla, bla…
Anyway, I printed the email and when he got home, I started my conversation. I said I thought about both families all the time and I ahd printed the emails for him to read and see the truth!
Hie immediate response: “You are trying to throw my Mom under the bus!!!”
Oh, Boy, I just thought ” Great, more problems now!!!”
But then I explained to him I just wanted him tor ead the emails and see that all hsi Mom was asking explicity for wedding plans I said over and over: I need to discuss them with Fiance as I am not getting married by myself!
Well it turns out it was great! he immediately changed towards me and was sweet as I have not seen him in days!
We ahve decided to have an important discussion about the wedding plans this weekend but I think he understood that I was caring and thougth about both families!
Thank you for your advice and I will elt you know how our conversation goes!
Post # 3
I’m glad this worked out for you and that you feel better. But honestly, after reading your previous posts, your Fiance sounds like an immature jerk. Please don’t just talk about wedding plans but about marriage, communication, respecting one another (and assuming the best, not the worst! does he not trust you?), doing what’s best for both of you, etc. It doesn’t sound like he cares very much about your feelings or opinions–or at least he has a funny way of showing it. Are you sure he’s mature enough to commit to a lifelong relationship?
Post # 4
@mrssrm: Hi! No, he is not immature or a jerk, he just have a different point of view from me. My therapist (thank God for her!) has been helping me a lot understanding that he has different views of a wedding than I do. And his priorities are also different. However the fact that he has been able to see my side and talk to me about things is encouraging. Relationships are not easy but we are working on ours!
Post # 5
@sheilamelo: This is probably going to sound harsh, but this is a guy who wants you to quit your dream job and move so that he can go to school…and expects you to pay for his education. This seems immature and jerky.
I’m glad you’re working on things, I really am. It’s not like I’m saying this can never work out. But being unable to compromise is a sign of immaturity, so like I said I’m glad you’re working on things and I hope he is too.
I’m also glad that he understands that you’re not trying to undermine his family! I kind of wish he’d never accused you of it, though.
Post # 6
It’s a pretty big red flag that you have to print out emails to prove to him that his own mother approves of your wedding plans. First, he should trust you. Second, if he thinks you did some planning without her approval, why can’t he ask his own mother himself?? I read back through your past posts and I’m going to tell you the best advice my mother gave me when it came to relationships: “it never gets any better than when you’re dating. That’s when they’re trying their hardest and trying to impress you.” If he’s already of the mindset that it’s his way or the highway, then when you get married you’re agreeing with his sentiments.
Post # 7
I tend to agree with what the others are saying….