(Closed) Update, the Wedding (and relationship) Is Off

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 48
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

View original reply
@blueeyedgirl275:  This is SO TRUE. They really do always come back.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think it’s great that you have your family and friends to help you through the tough time. Try to remember that a “man” who can’t handle the stress of getting a degree wouldn’t be able to handle sickness, childcare, or any other of life’s big stressors. You deserve someone who can be there for you just as you clearly were for your ex. In the thick of grieving a finished relationship it’s hard to see how wrong it was, but I can assure you that with the wisdom of time you will think what we all think about our exes:

What the hell was I thinking with THAT guy (also possibly, “Dodged a bullet there!”)

Post # 50
Member
3657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

View original reply
@EffieTrinket:  freekin’ brill that was.

You might be a writer in IRL I’m thinking.

Post # 51
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

View original reply
@MissMelly:  We, also, assumed it was another girl. I have confirmation from MANY sources there is no one. That he truly just wanted to be free. To party with his boys without a girl “nagging” him to hang out, as he saw it apparently. I’m sure he is sleeping around though. I have no doubt he’ll find someone else. He’s attractive, super charming, and friendly. Like he was to me that whole time.   

If you’re sure. People lie for people. I found amazing things out about my exes. Things that while we were going through our rounds, no one had dared tell me. But I’ll let that go, because that’s not what’s important. What’s important is you moving on.

Now you know that his “attractive, super charming friendliness” is a facade. It’s not real. He can turn it on and turn it off on a dime. Obviously. He can and DID lie to your face. You need to see him for who he is. He’s NOT the person he showed you.

He let you believe that he wanted to go to grad school, that he wanted to get engaged, etc, etc,. So NONE of that was real. MissMelly, the best first step you can take for yourself is to see this man as who he TRULY is, and no who he MADE you BELIEVE he is.

Post # 52
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

View original reply
@RexManningDay:  Echoing what a lot of other people have said, it’s okay to still love him.

This, I see differently. Love is a verb. That means it has present and past tenses. I believe that you can put an “ed” on it, and move on. Love is a verb, which means it’s an act or action. So you can stop yourself from commiting that action.

You need to tell youself that you “loved” him before he hurt you. You do not “love” him anymore because he is no longer in your life. Do not waste your verb on someone who is not around. Just like you used to talk to him, you used to see him, you used to spend time with him–well, you USED to love him. Practice that one in the mirror until it’s true.

Even if you have to psyche yourself out or brainwash yourself, make yourself take control of your verbs. It can help you take control of your life.

Sitting around feeling that you love him and you can’t stop, well, that doesn’t empower you. It traps you. Realizing that you loved him but you can make yourself stop, well, that’s empowering. 

Just like people overcome a fear of flying or heights, you can overcome releasing this emotion on him.

Post # 53
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@worldtraveler:  

You know, I think you may be on to something with the “more than bromance” comment.  That would also explain the “never ever getting back together” statement from her ex.  It would further validate the reason why the best friend is acting so downright girly, IMO.  He’s catty, like women are.

Most men don’t say they are NEVER getting back with you, but that it isn’t working out (they could mean right that second, or that week, for all we know).  They want to leave their options open, just in case…

Hmmm….  

Post # 54
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@EffieTrinket:  I totally agree with you

 What a tool. If it were me, I’d call his bluff just for fun, and not only that, but I’d screenshot the image of his texts and post it to Facebook. LOLs go both ways.


DO IT! screen shot that biatch now you might need it in the future to clear up your name

Post # 55
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

HE will realize his mistake and try to win you back. DO NOT FALL FOR IT.  We’ve all been there. 

Stay strong, a real man who loves you will come along. Don’t settle for this dickwad

Post # 56
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I completely agree that you need to save any threats from facebook. You should even send the threat TO facebook so they can take action again him.

I agree with others that this Isaac is acting way too involved with his best friend. Maybe they did decide that they were lovers or something on the camping trip. Did they go alone? Is it normal for male friends to talk so much about their feelings to each other? Cause, seriously, Isaac is way too up Ben’s ass—no pun intended. 

Post # 58
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Who is “we?” Family and friends you have in common?

Post # 59
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m sorry you had to go through this.  Have you talked to his family and see if they could offer any insight?

 

The topic ‘Update, the Wedding (and relationship) Is Off’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors