Awwww my heart breaks for you!!!! Heart break, especially when it comes completely unexpected like this, is so incredibly painful.
Although I can’t say I’ve been in a situation as bad as this, I can relate. I was dating a guy for 6 months and totally head over heels for him. I had been the perfect girlfriend for him and we had such a great relationship — never fought and always got along great.
Then he left for a work trip and something just changed in him. I could tell something wasn’t right between us. Over the course of a week I tried to get him to open up about what was wrong and he kept saying it was nothing. I kept bugging him and bugging him to find out what was going on and finally he confesses “I love you but….. you’re not the one.” WORST. MOMENT. OF MY LIFE! To this day I still feel tramautized by that line “I love you but….”. Who says that?
To say my world fell apart would not even begin to explain how I felt! I was crushed and to add to the misery, I was so confused! He had no answers as to why I wasn’t “the one” and for weeks and months I analyzed his statement and wondered what it meant that I wasn’t “the one” and what I did wrong in the relationship. I, too, cried and begged (literally) at his feet to no avail, and all the while, he was emotionless and seemingly not bothered by the situation.
Out of sheer pity for me (and I knew this at the time), we ended up staying together (and only because I refused to leave the relationship and accept the breakup… haha, pathetic, I know!), but months later we broke up anyway after he slowly drifted away again. Relationship was never the same and I knew I was forcing him to be in a relationship that he didn’t want to be in.
Although we got along great, I guess the connection just wasn’t there. I boiled it down to the fact that some guys love the chase and when that’s over, that spark is gone. When you find the right match though, neither of you needs that chase to keep the relationship going.
When you can’t find answers to why someone breaks up with you, it’s so easy to turn to yourself and stress over everything you might have done wrong, but you can’t do that. In situations like that, no one did anything wrong. It just wasn’t meant to be. There is a perfect match for everyone and some people just aren’t suited to be together for a lifetime. No one is to blame for what they feel in their heart.
And trust me, you never want to have to work as hard as I did to keep a relationship together. It’s not worth it to beg for someone back. Relationships and marriages are hard enough even when things are great and even harder when they aren’t great; one person should not have to do the work of two people to keep a relationship together and keep a spark going.
It may feel like you will always be settling when you find someone after this person and it may hurt for a long time, but you WILL find someone else who is perfect…. and who knows…. maybe you’ll be engaged and married before your original wedding date and maybe you won’t have to be tied to a guy that is far away!!! I did the LDR thing with a military guy and it was absolutely miserable and it turned me into a completely different person. Although the break up was sad, in a way, I was relieved at the thought of finding someone in the same city!
Hope your grey skies clear up!