- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2018
Thank you everyone in the other thread. Sometimes we need someone to give us a little push. 🙂
I asked him last night how long he thinks it should take to get married. He told me that we’re basically ready but we have to figure out how. Um, what? He brought up some questions about the ceremony itself that we went through quickly. Mostly with open ended “answers,” “well, we can use this minister or this one or this one.” He didn’t seem like he was trying to screw me around; he seemed like he was caught off guard. He did raise some seemingly valid financial/legal concerns which we solved. He said he had been trying to figure out how to propose and will figure that out.
So I don’t have a timeline per se. But 1) I wasn’t necessarily expecting him to have one on the spot. It was, in some ways, out of left field, so I’m wasn’t opposed to giving him time to get back to me. I feel this way at a year, but wouldn’t feel this way at 5 years. 2) I didn’t do this as well as I could have. I intentionally asked right before he had to leave so that he could have the option of needing to leave. So we didn’t have time to go through it in depth. I’m not justifying this- I’m just saying that’s what happened. 3) In his mind this might constitute a timeline, but with still some leeway to make it a “surprise”? 4) I feel like the answer I got was soon, and an actual soon, not “well, relative to the age of universe, we can expect the sun to die out soon.”
I feel like his “I’m working on it” of an answer is reasonable assuming he actually follows through. I would say in the next few months? I didn’t push for a literal timeline as he honestly seemed like he was in fact already planning it.