Update to boyfriend's heirloom ring.

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
2472 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 1995

I can’t tell you what you should do but I really want to see a picture of this ring!

Post # 47
Member
734 posts
Busy bee

 milena :   redmango :   I did saw about the selling mentioned on either this thread or previous thread, but I must’ve missed the reply on not selling it – sorry about that.

RayKay :  see above. Also, my advice came from how inheritance is treated in my family, where each heirs have their own money’s worth of inheritance, so if someone is interested on certain items that the current heir doesn’t, s/he can buy it from them. Seeing from your reply and others’, heirloom rings and jewelry of someone that is still alive seemed be treated differently – or at least here in US.

Post # 48
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

redmango :  your bf is fine with both options, so choose what you want. My ex gave me a marquise (my choice, I loved it and it was 1.5ct so not too too big). My Fiance proposed w a family heirloom oval emerald in a halo and told me that he wanted to buy me a ring of my choosing (oval solitaire sapphire 2.5ct equivalent) to give to me at our wedding or some other time. He’s fine w me wearing them w one on each hand or switching out and so is his family.

If the marquise is too big for you, it’s too big and that’s okay. Maybe he can propose w it and have it be right hand ring after he gives you the cushion. But, since you like the cushion and not the marquise, let him know how much you like the cushion and that the marquise is gorgeous but feels too big. After he has that info, tell him that he can decide. 

Post # 49
Member
6107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

redmango :  I think he should get you the ring y’all both love and give the heirloom to his sister. If she was given another piece of jewelry y’all can just trade one for the other. Done and done!

Post # 50
Member
2888 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would get your own ring and let his sister have the diamond. It probably means A LOT more to her that it ever will you even if you reset it. I have a pretty strong opinion that heirlooms should stay in the family (yes, you will be part of their family but you did not inherit the ring). Your boyfriend sounds great and like he definitely understands that the marquise may not be your ideal diamond so what is the big dilemma? I would not worry about offending his family, I’m sure that they will appreciate you giving the ring to his sister since it was her aunt who owned it. 

Post # 51
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

If you don’t 100% love it, there are probably other female members of his family that would love and appreciate it. And it would be sentimental to them. Get the ring you want and let his family know that although the thought behind the heirloom is lovely, you don’t think it’s your style and wouldn’t want it to go unworn.

Post # 52
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It is tough to tell you what to do… If you will dislike the ring, then say that you would be too scared to lose the ring or something and turned down the diamond. Personally, I would set it in an amazing setting and where it with pride and joy. While I am not a fan of certain cuts, I would wear almost ANY cut in 2cts or above. You could have an amazing custom setting with what it would cost for the cushion halo (less actually).

You also mentioned someone whose in-laws threaten that in a divorce the ring goes back to the family. I am fairly certain that is not how that works. An engagement ring is a gift with the promise to marry. She kept her promise and would be able to keep the ring. That would all be hashed out in the divorce anyway. So, just because someone says she can’t keep it does not make it so. It is not up to them. A judge would determine that if the couple could not.

Post # 53
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

You don’t like the aunts diamond, so I think you should gift it (not sell it) to the sister that really wants it.

Post # 54
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

I’d say go ahead and get the cushion cut you love. Don’t feel guilty about it. 

Post # 55
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I just want to say that this really fancy ring company I follow on Instagram just posted this picture and I have never had strong feelings one way or the other on marquise or halos, but I swooned hard for this beauty. And it reminded me of you. 

If you really don’t like this, then you’ll never be happy with the heirloom and you should get something else. 

Post # 57
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

teacher-bee-in-the-sea :  omg that is stunning. I love trumpet and horn!

OP, did the sister inherit something as well? Maybe you could trade, haha. I agree with the majority of posters here, get the ring you love and let them keep the giant marquise in the family for someone else to use. If they’re not grudge-holders looking for something to dislike you for, this’ll all blow over once the decision has been made. Just hold firm on whatever you decide. I think it’s fine to say that the ring is beautiful but it’s much larger than you feel comfortable wearing and you both decided to go with something that is more “you”.

Post # 58
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

neubee :  I 100% agree. I don’t like the idea of his family being any part of the equation. 

Post # 59
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

dobby98 :  oh my goodness this ring is pretty amazing. I like the diamonds around it. They’re a subtle edition but if she’s worried about him not spending anything on the ring, this would be a nice, low key way of contributing! Lovely idea! 

Post # 60
Member
886 posts
Busy bee

dannij8918 :  Yes Heidi Gibson rings are stunning!!! Really want one as a RHR:) 

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