Post # 1
I haven’t been around much lately – popping in and out a bit, but for the most part, keeping to myself. I’m having a rough day so I thought typing out my thoughts might help a bit. Here is the back story http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/the-birth-story-i-never-wanted-to-write/
Last week we went in for the results to the baby’s autopsy. This was just a preliminary report, and was told the final would come in soon. They couldn’t find a single thing wrong and it gave us no explanation as to why the baby’s heart stopped beating. Everything was normal. I’m thankful for that, but in a way it gives us no reasons why and no closure in a sense.
Today I received a phone call from the OB who received the final autopsy report and after the chromosomal testing was done, realized that the baby boy we had been grieving was actually a girl. At the hospital we were told he was a boy and that’s what the death certificate says.
This doesn’t change the amount of hurt we’ve been feeling, however I don’t know how to process this news. In reality, it makes no difference, but in my heart, I’m feeling some sort of confusion and pain.
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
Oh honey. You know my story. I’m so glad to hear from you. Thanks for checking in. My heart is breaking for you. I don’t have any words of encouragement except that it does get less painful. I’ll continue to keep you in my heart and thoughts.
Post # 3
Ryansgirl: I’m so sorry for you loss
Post # 4
Ryansgirl: I’m so sorry. Just about the whole thing. I would also be confused and saddened to learn the baby was actually a girl. I’m sure you have a lot of different emotions about it and that is to be expected. And I’m sure finding out there was nothing wrong (and therefore no explanation) was very hard. I wish I had something profound to say that could make you feel better. But I’ll just say that I’m still so sorry for your loss and that I’m sending warm thoughts to you.
Post # 5
I’m so so sorry. I can totally understand how you would be feeling confused and hurt about the news you’ve received.
Post # 6
I am so sorry to hear all of this, I remember reading your original post. I can only imagine the mix of emotions now that your child was not a boy, but was a girl, instead. I would suggest seeking out some professional counseling (even if it’s only for a few months) to talk to someone about all of this.
Post # 7
I was thinking of you a few days ago (I hope that doesn’t come across creepy!)-I’m so sorry you’re still going through all the pain around this, and that this new information has made it harder for you two to feel closure.
I hope that as time goes on the pain can lessen, and you and Darling Husband can keep leaning on one another.
Post # 8
Wow. I’m not sure how I would go about processing that if I were you- one more thing you weren’t expecting. I remember your first post, and FWIW- I’m glad you are back and gave us an update. I’ll be thinking about you.
Post # 9
I’m so sorry! I really hope you find closure!
The small silver lining to finding out that your baby was genetically female is that this is a huge clue. There are very limited possiblities as to why a genetically female individual would present as a male, so from here on in they have some very solid leads to check. The second silver lining is, since this strongly implies a genetic issue, they might know exactly what to test for if you choose to concieve again in the future.
I know that what I just wrote probably doesn’t help much, but I thought I’d try… my thoughts are with you.
Post # 10
I remember your story, and I’m so sorry for all you are going through. I think it absolutely makes sense that the news of your baby being a girl would cause some renewed confusion and new feelings. You are grieving. It’s such an incredibly difficult, personal, and unpredictable journey. Wishing you all the best, and saying a prayer for you today. Hope you eventually find the peace you are seeking and deserve.
Post # 11
So very sorry for your loss. Thank you for coming back here to share, Bee. I hope that this online community can be a comfort to you.
Post # 12
Sending you Internet hugs. Im so sorry that you had to go through this. I’ve actually been thinking of you from time to time. Your story stayed with me and I was wondering how you are. I’m so very sorry to hear that on top of everything else, you are no more certain as to why this happened than you were before, and now you’ve spent weeks grieving a son, when in fact, you actually had a daughter. I can’t imagine the emotions you are experiencing. I hope you and your husband can continue to heal together and find the closure you need. Again, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Post # 13
Thinking of you in this difficult time. I hope you find some answers soon xxxx hugs
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2015 - Winery
I don’t even know what to say. I just wanted to show my support and send internet hugs. <3
Post # 15
Breaks my heart reading this. Nothing I say will come close to doing your feelings justice. take care x